Domestic Abuse: Clickbait

The husband spat on her face and said- bitch. How dare you post a video on a public platform saying you do the household chores and I am always on the phone? Before she could reply, he grabbed her by the face and almost hit her. Do you think it is just cause you blocked me from the social site that I would not get to know?

She asked which video he would show me. He said she would lick his feet if he showed the video. She said yes, if I made a video saying you don't work and only I work, and aims at insulting you, I will. He then opened a downloaded story and shoved it on her face. She was shocked at his misconception and wanted to explain that it's not portraying what you are suggesting or understanding. But words failed her, and the explanation failed him. He continued lashing at her and turned further violent. She desperately wished he just asked her why she was so down and making such an Insta story. She was stressed and, on top of this violent situation, made her heart stink. She asked who was sending such videos and propelling him in the wrong direction. He didn't bother to reply; he kept on abusing her, making physical threats, and hurling abuse. She was crying; she was in pain. It was the curfew time when the nation was in the nighttime pandemic wave. She didn't know where to go, but staying in his house made her feel gross and helpless. Is this what marriage is about? She felt homeless and helpless, and it wasn't the first time. She was broken on the inside and could not explain it. She wanted to break things and silence the connotation in her head. She wanted peace. She felt confined and ashamed to be in the same house. The night made things worse for her. 

It didn't start from that night, and it did not stop at that night only. 

She decided to call up the person whom she suspected of sharing that old video with a suspected motive. She wanted to ask that if he is the one, then why is he doing such things? She very humbly asked him, hoping to have a constructive dialogue. The dialogue wasn't constructive but turned even more destructive when the person called her in-laws and made a hue and cry of the entire episode. Another assault was launched on her when the in-laws called their son and, instead of trying to resolve the matter, asked the man to "control" or let go of the wife. How do you control it? Another round of abuse, assault and witch-hunting was launched.

It took some time to settle back. The woman was appalled by the insensitivity yet wanted to save her house, save her aging parents from the trauma of seeing a depressed daughter, so she took the dip. She could not express herself, and she wasn't heard, either. 

She was expected to ignore all witch-hunting done since the courtship, even on the altar, and continued at every probable moment. She failed to understand how at every probable adversary or crisis, how come she becomes an outsider and the whole gang up against her? Even though she may be on the erred side. Narratives were changed to suit the individuals and their shallowness. Only she was responsible for saving and honoring the marriage, but at the cost of what? Her self-respect was being humiliated on every possible occasion, yet others were called the victims, the ones who suffered and did greater things. It was beyond her comprehension. Earlier, she did not actually comprehend, but as the years passed, she could see things clearly and could sense the pattern. Yet, she wanted to win everything and make things work. She tried almost everything to appease them, but nothing guaranteed her acceptance in their inner circle. She was always an outsider, and she gradually hearted the fact. The physical intimidation soon faded into sheer emotional deflation. Her outbursts and confrontational pleas were reduced as she knew there was no point in explaining. 

And one fine day, after years of repeated turmoils and self-blaming, she, all tethered, all cold with relations, walked out of the highly gated society and was never seen again. 

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Women in domestic abuse are often helpless. Helpless women mostly face domestic abuse. That's why financial independence or self-reliance is a growing and important need. 

Have you ever been in such a relationship or know anyone who is facing some kind of domestic violence? What would you have done in such a situation? Which is more painful- physical hurt or emotional upheaval? And does it stop there? Or how does it stop, and when and where? Feel free to talk

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This post is part of a writing challenge, encouraging people to talk and share and create a community hug.