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Oooh! What's that Smell Boss?

Tuesday, March 11, 2014 5 Comments

Imagine, a day when you in all your fine spirits, good mood and a raring to go and live that brand new day. You get up and get going..the shower way off course! You take an indulging hot water aromatic bath in your heavily invested Jacuzzi with that exotic bath salt, mineral loofah and dash of UD Cologne in your bath water. Post it, you prep yourself with a fine towel and step out of shower feeling fresh and energetic. Ah! That Shower gel smells just too good.

Your penchant for refreshing fragrances doesn't stop there. While you dress up, you douse yourself left, right and center with your favorite body mist and wear your crisp cotton, well ironed cloths and venture out of your room in happy jolly mood. Its then you encounter a foul, sweaty, stinky smell greeting your nostrils and sending it to the moons of a wicked place somewhere deep down in the deepest Burroughs of the earth. #WhatsThatSmellBoss you think. It is your younger brother and his "legendary socks" that is smelling threadbare, right up from it's stinky linen- tip to Toe. Aaargh! You squeeze your nose up in disapproval and rush through the main door to escape.

Bang you cross the door and on the street to catch a vehicle to reach your office. You seem to have missed your office bus and next best option is a public transport. Auto, Auto..hey Bhaiyaa...stop...all in vain. It is then you realize that you get to catch a bus. Ok fine. You take hurried steps to the nearby bus stop, only to be greeted by a strong stinky smell of myriad hues and blues. Pop goes your eyes widened and nose closed to combat the smell. #WhatsThatSmellBoss you think! A look around and it is that over loaded garbage bin that it littered with all kinds of waste, unattended. Damn rain makes it much worse. A look around, to see if the road is cleaner on the other side [grass may not be greener] but your gaze is stopped by the road divider that proudly displayed all the garbage thrown by locals. Damn these locals, why do they have to dispose their waste on road and not in dust bin. A look at dustbin and areas around makes you withdraw your own question and with bated breath, you wait for your bus to come.

Honk, honk! you have your moment of great relief when you see your bus coming. The crowd in it is little too much to handle and quite discouraging but you never know when next bus will come and how better that would be? Sigh. Suddenly an army of boarders come from no where and ensure that your boarding the bus is no lesser a challenge. You almost boarded a bus full of people and some stinking people. Somehow you managed to find space to fit in your feet and in a little while a seat to rest your load. You heaved a sigh of relief and were about to thank God, it is then something that made a fierce and forceful entry in your nostril, making you wanting to puke. Yikes! #WhatsThatSmellBoss you think. You turn your head around to b welcome by a stinky armpit holding the support rods on mid pathway of the bus. The sweat was so dense and so thick, that you hurriedly pick your bag and rush out of the bus before it was about to land on your nicely ironed shirt. Eeks...some people have no civil sense...Gosh, They stink and how. Never heard of deo? Yes, they sure did not indeed.

Some how you reach your office and calls for the elevator. It seems ten more people were waiting for it and did not mind squeezing themselves into it as soon as it stopped at your floor. A look at lift board and it read- max 8 people at a time. Before you step out, your pushed to extreme corner of the lift with few stomping on your well polished shoes. oops, apology is such a vanity and when did it helped cleaning the stains off your shoes. You feel struggling for breath and while you still manage, another acute, breath strangulating smell reaches your poor nose and makes you go dizzy. #WhatsThatSmellBoss ask your self. It is the "Cigarrette" that your "ah so considerate" lift mate smoked before boarding the lift and breathing through your neck. Stinky that is. Deal with it, you tell yourself until your floor comes and men! Such a relief.

You reach you desk, while cursing all the stinky , smelly people right under your breath. Before you could settle in, you are summoned by boss' secretary who called in regarding attending a meeting in a shortwhile with cross functional team. Cross functional team? You wonder. Yeah cross functional team i.e. a team of all kinds of stinky, smelly set of people. May be you are wrong today, may be they took bath today. You think. While you gather your thoughts, your concentration is broken by a loud, garish scent. #WhatsThatSmellBoss you think. Aha! it is boss 's secretary wearing an otherwise loud deodorant that could be best served as alternate to chloroform that makes people unconscious and heady.

Sigh! such a tragedy. How much you wish that one of the job qualification while scrubbing candidates should be- devoid of any foul smell and which perfume do you use, to be added in the candidate evaluation and recruitment form. Anyways, the meeting is in that large, AC conference room and that would be a good breather to entire "foul" routine thus far. Your short lived dream is really short lived when you enter the conference room that is laden with people and an AC that needs severe servicing, on an "Intensive Care Basis". #WhatsThatSmellBoss you text to your admin lady and pat comes reply- I will check post this meeting. Post this meeting? Gosh that is a day long meeting and whole through out, you were made to  bear through nasty orders, long presentations and some really stinky, smelly people whom you would like to ask- #WhatsThatSmellBoss!

Well that smell is someone burping and burping so loud that your appetite for next two days is killed. Then another colleague who perhaps have never seen an ad of bathing soaps and deodorants in his life. If that was not enough, here comes that most dreaded smell when someone really chose to let a little air out and wear a perfect "whodunnit" face. Disgusted you are! You rush to washroom to freshen up your face, only to realize, One Mr. Smarty Pants has used it without feeling the need to "flush" the room or wipe the water off the seat. eeeks...#WhatsThatSmellBoss and you realize someone forgot to clean the "mess" they created in washroom as if it was a great memento to display and leave thereafter. This time, instead of asking, #WhatsThatSmellBoss you rather wanted to ask- what did you eat, you monster. What did you eat last night, oops a day before that or even a week before.

The cruel saga of #WhatsThatSmellBoss continues for the whole day and by the time you reach home, you feel so pissed with yourself. You are so disgruntled that you may not have time to pick a glass of water for your throat but you rush immediately to the washroom to get yourself cleansed of and rid from all those stinky, smelly things and memories that you had throughout the day. 

Nothing, nothing can sooth your agony as better as that "hot shower bath" could. 


This post is written for Indiblogger and Racold contest. to get connected to Racold, visit their facebook page-

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write


  1. True winner!!! absolutely loved it...

  2. You have comprehensively covered the entire range of odors we encounter in our day to day life. Best of luck for the contest.

  3. Really nice post! You've captured the #WhatsThatSmellBoss thing very well. I wish you all the very best for the contest!:)

  4. smelly post written such cleanly :) all the best for contest :) i tagged you for My Most Memorable Memento' Contest here believe in 'me'mento

  5. Classic take on smell. Satire at it's best. Cheers.


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