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"Draw-a-yawn-aaaahhh"

It hurts! Having spend a 200 of INR on a precious Sunday morning at Inox, sitting through a neo-surrealism of this sort. C’mon, we must encourage the new creative ideas in film making. So let’s go and watch Ramchand Pakistani instead. At least it impresses.

Ok fine, since its 'bout “Drown-a” oops "Drona" here, let’s quickly run through our checklist.
Big budget-Present Sir;
Impressive star cast- Present sir;
Grand visuals- Me too present sir;
Senseless scripting- terribly present;
Even more senseless treatment- Affluently Present sir;
Wasted good talent- [Sigh] present sir.

Also, making their presence impeccably felt were- Stunt Overdose, Emotional brouhaha, High decibel direct borrowing from Hollywood fantasies brigade, And sherwani of a super hero!!! [Quite a cloak n dagger affair] Seems little Goldie went too far researching for his movie in DVD parlor and museums!!! Tsch Tsch, Mr. editing table.

Well not all that begins well ends well too. The prelude on the “Legend of Drona”, drawing fine correlation with Indian mythology- “the Sagar Manthan” was a very good tactic. [The evident resemblance to Eklavya could be ignored]. But what followed was quite tasteless.

A bad postscript to a good prelude, indeed! The poison spewing family, Overdone KK, Yellow “transporter” kind car, an out of place item no amidst the lost world and what was that- a introduction bit of a song???!!!?? My buddy from pages of my Chennai travel-logue, John Paul [an American bicycled to Tamil hinterland] would ve rechristened it as “Clown-a” [our abridged version of the vernacular flavor where every sentence/word ends with a sweet “aa” sound]. No offense da.

Pri Chops was a delight to watch. I strongly feel her wardrobe would ve tailored a better version for our smart Indian superhero. Think through. At least he wouldn’t have turned up looking like “Durban of drona”.

AB Jr is such a good actor that sometimes he really sleep walk through his role. Yeah, in this one particular he was actually sleeping most of the time [may be when camera was rolling], well so were we. Looks like his buddy behl behl-aoed [belled] him into this gory, by telling- “my dear, lets have a picnic on our sets and I shall give you enough resting time in between your other movie shoots”.
I am still an AB sr fan [even after nishabd] & think it would’ve been more interesting if he played the superhero. Not that I do not like JR but Sr. would’ve salvaged some viewer ship/ eye candy[he still] for the otherwise dud project. It hurts when some directors makes such a fool of their stars.

[Time for a disclaimer: talking about the crass called Nishabd, Mr. Bachchan shouldn’t be bought into guilt. This mess, once again was the crap a certain MR. RGV’s Factory harvested, a man who seem to be on a one word mission to bring down the glory of the former. Don’t agree? Recalled something called “Aag”?]

Drona had almost all the ingredients to become an entertaining movie [yes off course if you exclude Miss New knit Nishant and her over the top Punjabi ghetto; revamp the start point of the movie to create viewer’s interest and hope. And for God sake some meat to hero's role]. Alas the over confidence and too many mystic blue petals swamped the desert and made Drona such a “Drowny” affair.

The movie is visually inspired by many, but engrossing as none. A classic case of confused identity and screenplay, from promising to heady. IMHO, a true superhero movie should be more unique, imbibing and creatively stimulating.
[BTW, did I say “déjà vu to Da Vinci code”??!??]

Anyways, my little naughty niece who wants me to paint or play dandiya with her, is growing very impatient with my “Drona” bazi and threatening me to close it before she erases it all. And she is quite capable of doing it [apni mammy pe jo gayi hai; oops my cousin sis for uninitiated], I must quickly wrap it up with small postmortem on- Why Krish worked & Drona didn’t?

1. Krish had a very niche audience- Kids. And they targeted them well. So much that they sketched, presented and merchandized the movie to the alpha pups, all profitably.
Drona, must surely be targeted at the elderly [septuagenarians and above]. And how many of ‘em would go to watch movies at multiplexes? [In fact I asked one of my Nani if she would like to watch Drona and she said Nah! Lets go “Rock on” instead to watch good bahu Prachi Desai].

2. Unlike Drona, which got meddled up between “that age & this age & futuristic”, Krish had one consistent backdrop throughout the movie.

3. Krish’ hero was very contemporary, sweated all his breathtaking stunts himself and still kept the charm on. It’s atrocious to waste AB jr. in Drona.

4. Good, strategically placed music [read cash registers ringing from music rights, VAS business]

5. Alternate business of VAS, merchandizing etc a la spider man was well scoped as well tapped by Krish. Remember Krish mask et all? Now tell me which kid would like to wear the tika/sherwani kind of stuff our new superzero wore? Unless the movie is declared huge hit! Yeah, the sword could ve been fun but such toys are banned, you see.
6.Last but not the least. Superheroes don’t have bodyguards’ Puhleeze.

Inspired if you must, Pl go ahead and bring a DVD home. Use it for your HR psychometric tests on a 5 factor ranking scale. For instance-
Duration of movie watched [in minutes] v/s Patience levelLess than 20 minutes - Not so Bad
>=20 and <= 30 - Good
>=30 and <= 60 - Very good
>=60 and <= 90 - Excellent
>90 minutes - Genius

Synonyms: Draw-a-yawn-aah, Drone-a, Drown-a, Darao-na, Darawana [scary in Hindi], Dharo-na [idea in Bengali. PS: what an idea sirji]

BTW, If you liked the songs, you can download it as a caller tone on your Tata Indicom phone. SMS Keyword to 12800-
Opp Cha WT44929
Nanhe WT44931
Khushi WT44932
Bandagi WT44930
Drona Female WT44933
Drona Male WT44928
Oop Cha Fare Play Mix WT44934
Thats All Folks!!!
Numero trivia: What would you call if AAG produced by RGV & directed by Goldie Behl? - Aag and Gulab!! Voila PJ!!!

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You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

Ladies and Gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind

Monday, November 24, 2008 , 5 Comments

Amidst the quantum of dostana and fashion golmaals, I chanced to watch an extremely amazing, inspired by true life, British comedy. A heartwarming, feel good caper, involving sassy characters from Price’s shoe, Northampton and drag queen’s club, London.

Lola from London, meets- “This is a Charlie from Northampton” and weaves oops shoes sizzle to an otherwise fizzled business. In the meantime, the two outcast members figure out to stand for themselves in the red, thigh high boots and how is a treat to watch.

“Kinky boots” begins with a little Simon dolled up in a girlie garbs, walking alone the pier in a fancy red stilettos, away from the disapproving eyes of his/h [err] father. The screenplay then captures another little boy, growing up with his father in the family shoes business.

Young Charlie Price grows up and inherits a shoe factory from his dying father, only to find that the company is failing badly and he must retrench or revive and quickly. In despair and dilemma to save his company from bankruptcy, accidentally encounters drag queen Lola [the flamboyant, absolute surprising- Chiwetel Ejiofer] and finds an unlikely creative consultant in the cabaret queen who guides him to find his niche business in flashy transvestite shoes, leading to the ramps of Milan. Voila!!! Quite a sentence :-)

In this tale, there is Lauren. Lauren is one of the employee who doesn’t take her lay off easily and fire back at her boss to rather fight the situation than to bury his face in “what can I do” syndrome. Hope some people hear and wake up to this.

And there’s the posh, real estate, greedy fiancée of Charlie who disapprove to see the greater goods in his dreams and walks away on her Jimmy Choo’.

The story is interestingly pleated. Beginning from Charlie & Lauren; Charlie & Lola; Charlie, Lauren & Lola; Charlie, Lauren, Lola & Union workers; Charlie & Lola again. And the awesome cha-cha climax!!!

It’s Lola’s show all the way! From the terrains of enigmatic lives of transvestites to the reigning kinky boot designer bogeying on ramp of Milan’s shoe show, Lola whip lashes all surprises from her kinky boots, gay and jolly. What Simon couldn’t do, Lola does.

Some of the best scenes also includes Simon aka Lola’ entry to Price’ shoe factory, designing the first niche shoe for transvestites heeled up on durable steel shank and winning over the orthodox union motley. My favorite is the magnanimous ramp romp show by Lola and her angels.

Kinky boots is a pure fun to watch. If kink is a taboo word for you, let me tell you it’s more of an uplifting comedy and provides no real surprises [not even a single scene is as suggestive as the title]. The title shouldn’t deter you from indulging your guffaws out in this movie. Fun & original, it’s a must watch that proves the best way to fit in is to stand out and stand pout truly!!!



Psst: Did anyone said- Early to bed, early to rise. Find your niche market and diversify

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Third time lucky!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008 2 Comments

Voila, am turning quite bewdoo theses days. Yeah! a pet name given to me by a high school contemporary who just hee-hawed out of shock or culture hearing that I had 2 spoons of brandy in my milk last night, given by my parents to soothe my pugnacious throat!!! Can anyone else be a more weirdo than I am??!!??

But what ever it was, it wasn’t as strong as the concoction I gulped last night. Call it hang up of the highly turmeric-zed cup of milk or non suppressing/retreating nature of my bad cold. Men! Am getting addicted to drink “Haldi wala dhoodh”. But how long, I wonder?

But must say its remedy of the remedies. One stop solution for high insomnia, body ache, bad throat etc…a warm cup of milk with turmeric and honey in an adequate pouring is a thing to relish. Ting Tong!

But I feel ravaged. Cold is one of those things which I hate seeing not just in my relations but even in my ENT. Hankie dropping is one of the “ada’s” of the girls but not one with phlegm [never mind, I never carry one]. Thank God, my office house keeping staff assisted me with decent stocking of tissue papers and hot cuppas of tea.

Its my 3 rd day of the cold. 3rd day of the publishing and positively what could come out of it, 3rd post. Pssst, if you were just wondering what is 3rd time lucky!! Tee Hee hee

Last time I fell sick was in August, during my green belt six sigma training in Mumbai. Men! I must say it was terrible then. I had run pillar to post to get that training. Tough but everything fell on place, and then this cough nosed it’s way-uninvited. Long continued hours of extreme coaching teamed with group activities and my very sharp trainer from Motorola University with his rapt attentiveness on my eye balls movements. And the highly air conditioned conference room with live commentary of Avaneesh singh from Chandigarh.

To make matter even worse, I had a badly bruised foot to nurture that week. Long live people who invented Mistdress spray bandage.

And also an almost broken, battered, bruised heart!! Don’t ask me why.

Anyways god took off all my thinking time that week incl some single minded focus on my much awaited project. Dear “I love perfection” pals don’t owe that to my irresponsible nature, but also to my involvements in more live projects.

Our very clever instructor gave only 3 people to her “Ekla’s” group against 4-5 members in other groups. But it was a wholesome experience, thanks Mr. Wong.

Laptop covers down! The then new buzzword in camp for a week. And I still love it. Those were days!!!

Yup coming back to my currently playing cribbing carping stories, episode- Cold n allies, I must say that I missed on the generous supplies of lemon tea for 3 days :-(

The quite friendly batch weren’t too left behind; making digs on my supposedly saint like after classes’ habit. When all of them would be either indulged in filling “phoonk” to empty theatres of RGV films or making time for “CKompany “[guys that all released that time], I would be boringly sitting at my room wasting the lovely Voltas HRD centre’ tissue papers.

Am sure Ckompany/phoonk wouldn’t all that bad!!! Some ppl watched it even thrice!!! Hee hee Amresh Pratap singh and Rohit Roy, this bit is not meant for you.

They said it’s a fag end aftermath of tequilas & talli-doms, I would say it’s actually a side effect of all that abstinence!!! He he

Anyways my health seems to be improving now. Looks the 2 doses of haldi milk was quite effective. With lesser hammers within my head, I must get back to work.

Here’ a toast to the miraculous ways of Milk & turmeric.

Bravo!!! Divine!!! Encore!!!

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What is Numerounity?!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008 0 Comments

It’s been decade that am, out and yawned with words like my space, e- world, e-desk, dear diary, meri away suno, mind over matter, juicy tomatoes, love khichdi, sprinklers- sparklers, songbirds, living miracle, soul mantra, era of something something types that I decided not to puke any one of those here.

Numerounity is a word I inspired myself, some years back from the famous “Numero Uno” which means No 1. For the uninitiated, my name is Ekta Khetan [ek’tā kh-ey-tān]. Ekta means “Unity” in Hindi. A bit remodeling makes it- Numero Unity.

If you wonder if this the name that inspired Tata sons to make their supercomputers, I must say Mendeleev heard nothing of me while predicting chemical elements...Lolz

My writings may not be refreshingly original or amusing. Not sure if I can continue blogging even after 2 posts. The sudden plague and plethora of bloggers make me even more sick. It’s just that my little interest has been ignited by a friend of mine, who not just ignited this alone but things many. For the one track thinkers, some of it holds true too.

The world is already full of cliché which is like is your mother in law, you can dislike them but can’t do away with them J

I am an ambidextrous, an absolute maverick who loves to turn the conventional wisdom down and am here to stay, a friendly yuppie who has branding for breakfast, Dow Jones for lunch & social upheavelings in the evening, etc etc will also be pleasantly missing from my writings…I never claimed to be interesting!!! J

But yeah, I do love to challenge some of the common norms of society if I feel them too self imposing for my comprehension. Aw! If you get too much surprised with my sounds and think its stupid then let me suggest that searching too much for sanity, makes things around us more insane, inane and inhuman.

Wow, we sure can have way around wordsJ

Time for some more disclaimers?!?! I am not here to attack, counter attack, review, criticize, mud sling, whistle blowing, tune in or whatsoever you heard the blogging being trumpeted for in recent times, [unless I change my mind]…I am here to write and write all that can be written J

So, let it be normal, spontaneous and easy. Yes, cliché are very normal too. But accrediting to the brilliant tagline coined by leher PepsiCo-
“Pagalpanti bhi zaroori hai”!!!

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Tintinnabulation

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 1 Comments

tin·tin·nab·u·la·tion (tĭn'tĭ-nāb'yə-lā'shən)
The ringing or sounding of bell
Ekta’s interpretation: The sound made by rain drops falling on a tin roof

To some it’s a lilting music and some, a titillating cacophony. For me it’s like curbing some noise in an unkempt attempt to orchestrate some music and karaoke. Cliché?

So, pinning my sundry hopes to make a decent inning outta this sojourn unlike my past fiddles n putters. And needless to say, not to make much a fool of myself while I fool around with great grammaticians or politically correct tribes of the world

Aha! Hope is too strong a word for monsoons though. Let’s rather move forth on assembling noises, while still creating a symphony out of it. Game?

Folks, “pouring”(s) splashes around quite incoherently at times. Disagree? Have a walk! Off course on a rainy day!!! J

Also, now since its tintinnabulat-ing, remember to cherish the augustic fall with its sound [silent ones are most suitable for my concealed chronicles] and not chase punctuations in the poodle. That’s another disclaimer! J

And if you are looking for someone having perfect harmony between their thoughts and its expression, am quite vulnerable to disappoint. Stick if you want and let me any improvement dawns onto me.

Aw well! The cliché will also improve over time, if you still don’t get used to ‘em.

Quite a preamble, isn’t it?
Cheers!!!

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