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'Haves' and 'Have-nots'

Monday, December 22, 2008 1 Comments

He said- "Congratulate me! I got my promotion letter"

I said- "Congratulations for the promotion. So, now the divide between 'haves' and 'have-nots' have further increased". :-)

He said- "What are you saying? I am getting this after 'X' years.

I said- "Oh Great! Now it will be easy for you to empathesize with me".

He smirked and left to show his letter to others.

1 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

Thou shalt’ do the Dance

Sunday, December 21, 2008 1 Comments

Do you want to change the world? Then start dancing!

Yeah and all you have to do is ask God to give you, an opportunity to dance. Ask and your will, will be done. But you have to ask and opportunities will be generated. Why opportunity? When you ask God for patience, he won’t pepper you up with patience but gives opportunity to be patient. Ask for courage, he bestows opportunity to be courageous. Like wise, he gives an opportunity to love when we pray for closeness, and not zap with warm, fuzzy feeling. Does he? He gives an opportunity to love each other, together, side by side. So once the opportunity is created, do the dancing.

Not geographies, not seers, Pledge your allegiance to the flag of God and his democracy on which stands a realm under almighty, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. And he will stand by you, side by side.

Talk to god and he will talk to you back. Answer in all ways you can understand. If you won’t, ask him for another sign…and your will, will be delivered.

He has plans on us and not designs. He sails us through most difficult times and test at even the easiest one. He implanted Noah’s ark and it was not about wrath and anger or May be it was, but in all essence it stood primarily for love. For believing in each other and standing together, by each other, even in the most impossible of situation. He bought all his loved ones in pair, standing by each other… side by side J

He did the same many times over and continues to do so. All he wants from us is to stand, yeah…side by side.

At time we wonder, what need we go through testing times, is the trouble worth? We question him, followed by anger, denials and even non belief. We ask him to love us less if its all for the heck of his love for us, fight with him at every steps of those acts only to recoil back to him, sooner or later. Like an angry child, who squabbles, shove around, then calms down and retreats to the mother’s lap.

I wondered where he was on 4th of October one fateful year. He says, I will let you know. You wondered what good he has for us on 9/11 or 11/9. He says, ask yourselves. You want something, he says done. You ask when? He replies when the time comes. You question again- when is the right time. He smiles and say- Now, keep trying.

And then tell him that since he has taken you to this and you went in it together, you shall get out of it with him, together, side by side.

So, you have a choice to wait and watch the world changing or start dancing. We must be change, we wish to see. We have waited enough to watch. Its time, do the dance.

1 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

Shobha, Sari & Shah Rukh!!!

Saturday, December 20, 2008 2 Comments

The "war of words" takes an interesting turn...Dunno how it started and ended [if et al]... Here's an excerpt with the new twist-
SRK: "She is a cynism dressed in a designer sari, she wakes up every morning and decides who she should target that day, so that she can sell few more saris".
S De: "I have got some matching bangles too for you and i really think you will look lovely in one of my designer sarees!!!
Fiddle Dee dee.. the twist-
Sonam Kapoor: "She [Ms De]is a 40 year old porn writer who needs to wear glasses until she starts calling Deepika padukone Sexy".
??!!???

2 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

The cavemen & his club

Saturday, December 20, 2008 , 1 Comments




Globdyne Corporation tanks off and the estranged employee after months of struggling and subsequent bankruptcy, resorts to stealing, robberies, marijuana, secret stakes etc…while some frankstein of a CEO was busy shooting the big game

Well that’s how the movie takes off but not how it is narrated or even ended. “Fun with Dick & Jane” is a movie all about the how Dick Harper’ begins, proceeds and ends this caper with quintessential Jim Carey comedy. It’s about the not so funny things that happen to real people, when the leaders they work for, fail to live up the organizational trust. It’s very lonely at top, risky and non contributing too. Over paid Top management is such a mockery of collective dreams, not necessarily American dreams. Instead of cutting our perks, our growth, pl cut their scotch, golf and “how do they want their eggs in breakfast”.

Anyways, I promised myself to keep my reviews sweet and KISSable [Keep It Short & Simple moron]. Like my presentations, I shall keep this short too [not on expectations though].
What I loved most in this movie-
- The “elevator” to VP- Corp Communication.
- Dick’s first day at home
- Job interview at pyramids
- Kentucky bluegrass
- Jin ku paw
- Sprinkling family shower
- Guero Mexicana
- First loot
- Mercedes, off!
- A18 stampin



Jim Carey and his Hon are a delight to watch. Esp. the bit when Carey burgles at the pyramid’ guy and while rephrasing the lawn. NO teary stuff, strong message and good laughs. If you are not interested to purchase, call BigFlix and get it home delivered at marginally lesser cost.

Whoa! Honey. Now that's a way how pension fund crumbles?

1 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

Jack & Jill

Monday, December 15, 2008 7 Comments


Jack and Jill,
Went up to the hill
To build a house n live happily ever after!
Jill chucked down
Broke her crown
While, Jack went off with some Julie smarter.

7 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

The great Indian Idle Challenge: Do you have it in you?

Sunday, December 14, 2008 , 2 Comments



I am politically challenged and that’s no revelation. But why am I one, is an anonymity which doesn’t bother elaboration.


The grand invasion of reality shows, opened many vistas to wannabe’s, in India & abroad. Wannabe singers, dancers, hooligan bikers, daredevils, millionaires, size zeroes [brain or waist? Oops], actors, jokers and god knows what, ruling the TRP roost on otherwise “sauce-boo hoo” dominated idiot box. You see the more mediocre it gets, more popular it becomes [2nd Law of airtime; let the 1st law be].

The competition, at least, is getting real and the market saturating. So time for plan B. New joinees, you said?

Hmmm …from Rakhi Sawant’s choli [dress] to antakshri’ holi[festival of colors] to raju shrivastava’ thitholi[stand up comedies] to Sa re ga ma’ Mouli to MTV Roadies Toli[gang] to err Kunal Kohli. We seem to have ignored our great Indian Politician, who’s been quite a butt and smut and inspiration behind the stupendous success of all reality TV, needs to claim up its extended territory. Imagine the kind of thrill their real life nautanki will bring to reel life! And TRP ratings too!!!

Quite a prospect and am sure our audience will welcome it with open SMSes. Remember a certain face pack called Rahul Mahajan at big boss? A la “Big gross” oops or “Kaun banega Neta” or “Neta baliye” or “Neta Circus”. Whoa, what an idea Sirji!!!

Cool. What next? Screening! Some selected correspondents [pref journalists] will travel all geographies esp the mafia infested ones & short list candidates for “parliament round” where all the wannabe’s will compete in a violence round [Survival of the fittest u see]. Survivors will be taken to the next level and so on exhibiting their sordid political aspirations through mock rounds on booth capturing, scamming-scheming, MLA kidnapping, under the table etiquettes [bribe taking], murders et cetera till we get our perfect “Indian Politician” fresh out of the kill oops kiln.

The recipe is ready, now churning the essential ingredients for all you aspired ones. Let’s run through a quick guideline for some prime eligibility criteria.

To become a politician in India, you must meet the following criterion –
1. You are a criminal or have an insalubrious background
2. You have no education or experience to qualify for the job
3. You like to ride high on other people’ expenses
4. You have never been to prison despite criminal activities
5. Or you have been here and done that… it’s your second home
6. You are well connected (sordid Builders/Industrialist/ Mafias et al)
7. You are a staunch believer of appeasement in the name of secularism
8. You were terrorist/dacoit once, now change of heart or business model
9. You have high resentment towards ethics, discipline, honesty and hard work.
10. You are a rat of the highest order [future public servant who fear to travel alone in public but escorted by a mobile citadel with caravan of state paid body guards]

Phew! Looks like a sort of “10 commandments for being an Indian Politician”.

So, time to get in to the action and start rolling- Lights, sounds, Camera and Action.


Rolling in the credits
Sponsors: Lok sabha & Rajya sabha
Judges: 1. Lalu Prasad Yadav 2. Amar Singh 3. Mamta ben Bannerjee 4. Behen Mayawati 5. Raj thackerey 6. Uma Bharti [just in case if the wannabe’s fizzle; judges will sizzle]
Prize: The winner will be appointed as Deputy Additional PM [perks included]
Associated producers: Any enterprising production houses [read deep pocketed]
Channel: Chameleon TV

2 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

It’s that time of the year again!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008 , 1 Comments

And those 3 magical words…ummmm

Mid term Review AKA PMS may be elaborated differently from its closely heteronymous cousin but trust me both aches in a way almost the same. Exceptionally when it is the last day for update and whole wide company is logged in the same quagmire. And yeah! while one claims to be productive, i wonder what the other forfeits to be?

The entire tryst challenged me with some usual learning-

1. Why our IT and allies always play kaput when we need them most?
[Did I hear you say- IT sucks?]2. Why everybody has a standard reply in the face of utmost paradox?
3. Why “last dates” do get extended when I finish my update on or before time?
4. What does ePMS reach when the entire exercise frights like a menopause?
5. Why my job sucks?
6. Why should I have someone as my performance reviewer who seats miles away and I doubt, barely knows if I exist?
7. Why my job sucks?
8. Why do we have a column which says “remarks after the joint discussion”, when there is no joint discussion? [Did you actually said- HR sucks?]
9. How come IT [information technology for uninitiated] UAT scores 100% compliance when everyday my mail box is flooded with messages like” A system runtime error; B system outage, Internet not functional, downtime notification of system a to z” etc?
10. How could I insight my fellow colleague to fill in her details ASAP as a contingency against the highly ahem reliable system but failed to do same for myself?
11. Why does corporatism sucks yaar? [At times though]
12. Does my job really suck?

12+.. Is this point no 13?

Hmmm the mute spectator’s agony revolves around his insistence that he faced a Hobson’s choice but still had to comply and act as a mute spectator does!!!

1 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

Love Actually!!!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 4 Comments

With any luck by next year
I’ll be going out with any of these charmers



But for now let me say
Without hope or agenda
Just because its Christmas and Christmas u tell the truth
To me, you are perfect
And my wasted heart will love you
Until u look like this

4 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

Procrastination is many stupendous things!!!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 0 Comments

Oh no! I can’t let this happen again…there’s plenty of thoughts sailing inside, waiting to ripple over my keyboard and be expressed. But as always I found myself napping on the wrong side of laziness and kept napping. It’s gonna be twilight and i must get out of the siesta and sail…

I know what you are thinking? Well, I never claimed to be creative!!! But I never, not claimed to be trying my hand into being one!!! :-)

So, I must write and write again before the itsy bitsy of my followers get drawn away to some other “Coffee and creams”. Oops not intended!

You know the biggest problem with perfection? It’s just that in order for trying for one, we limit ourselves too much to go out and stretch out loud. Too much with the fear of rejection or loosing all those accolades which our art [or the fart of it] ever bought to us. He he… I won’t let myself down and must scribble something. Aw well, must post something. As a lot have been scribbled and dribbled though….all it needs is to be poured and it will be poured soon…So, keep glued [my whatever few followers]. Till I swoosh back with another of my weirdo. Yo hooo….

0 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

Shaken & Stirred!!!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 , , 2 Comments

Here stays a nation, amidst all chaos, plunders and ill will. But the question is- For how long?

There’s a lot said, written and being done [reactively or the usual keywords viz- poll campaigns, award functions for martyrs, petty compensations, media coverage, blame games, political foo-fraws, new plots for otherwise mundane tv shows, even chain mails etc] on the recent, yet another terrorism tragedy in Mumbai. Except one thing- the Preventive & Precautionary Action!!! And hey, am not considering all those farce [sorry for the expression] going around in the name of it.

While we are busy debating on our "BEST" disaster management, my question still remains unanswered. Why do we need terrors and tragedies everyday to remind us of our cost centre [in all caps] called “Disaster management”?

Well India is awakening [Jago re, alpha dopomines], awakening to a better future ah well, & bigger tragedies too??!?? Every minute of our lives, that we work hard, sweating out family and personal dreams to keep the economy moving, flourishing, to safe guard the nation, which ironically is more threatened by its own internal malefactors than world at large.

Ahoy! Mr. terrorists, why wasting your energies, resources etc to hurt us? Leave it on our great leaders [read politicians, industrialists, cricket rewards n' remuneratiosn and many others], who are in higher abundance than you are. Arre!!! We have home made sudh marka MNS' guarantee on the patent called "mumbai", who leaves no "stone" or "terrain" unturned to accomplish their KRA's. Why bother? BTW its a breach on their "selected marathi khadus" rights that non mumbaikars are evading. Why MNS is quite and letting non mumbaikar infiltrate their terror territory, running "deadly-hood" when they don't let so called outsiders to earn simple livelihood?? Huh! chaha pee ke jagun re pore. Ever wonder what greatest good your brains would bring to nation when you start thinking positively & ethically.

Taj, Trident were risked, damaged but will be restored eventually. But can you re create Hemant karkare, Unnikrishnan and others from their ashes and give back to their shattered families? Resign you must, but will it revert the avoidable? For, what should we motivate our youngsters to join armed forces? To lay their lives for the greeds of so called khadi tuxedoes brigade?

[Realize, Men or women, when a person dies, he/she doesn’t die alone. With them the entire family, spouse, children, lots of dreams and smiles die and cremated all together. Yeah buddy, it’s a cliché but this cliché is grasping the whole tribe off late.]
Greed! Well, I understand, has metamorphsed into the basic premise for the jhandabaaz’s selection to the “Kursi” and “Satta”. Ah, Satta [power] and Satta [gamble] not just sound similar [Heteronymous] but are Siamese twins of Indian politics, joined from hands [hands in gloves too].

TOI published a great remark by one of our many wise sinister oops minister, who allegedly said- “Bade bade sehro main aise chote chote events hote rote hai. See we have worked and lessened the impact. For only 200 people got killed when they were supposedly 1000s”. Right said Mr. Leader. We well deserved this to “Jago re” and voted you.

India is not sleeping, it is burning! It’s disheartening to see a majestic country burning like this. And burnt through whose hands? Its own refuge who believes that burning up the world will calm the fire inside them. Reason whatsoever and logic be damned.

Am I sad or angry? Or do I feel helpless? No, I feel funny. In a country of above a billion people, people who are among the best thinkers, scientist, artists, and wealth creators in the world but not even a single leader. No infrastructure that scans & filters the infiltrations at first instance. [Even if it does, we are so inspired by “lifebuoy’s mujhe kuch nahi ho sakta’ ad that we throw all caution to winds and seas off course!!! Weeding out is no leader’s business but weeping is surely the fate of innocent voters]. No single politician who take anybody else’ life seriously. Hey, Dare you say “Jago re again!

Despite the fact that my city is burning, my trains/buses are not safe, the food I eat is remotely unadulterated, the air I breathe is toxicated, I have no choice but to keep walking the debris, the debacle of all that mortality heaps me into and slog as I must to keep my remaining uncertain breaths alive and keep slogging on till mortality warps me fully.

And hey! Don’t plagiarize it by calling “Spirit of Mumbai”. It ain’t any spirit but choice less option of the common men and women. Spirit, is when the common brigade turns it plight on and wreath such sinister at the residences/offices of the so called admins of the nation. Its not "spirit" but a lack of it.

This as it is not enough. Above it, am made to pay my hard earned, my earnest money as tax for the maintenance of big sarkari bungalows, posh lifestyles of illiterate politicians, Netas and MLAs, for their electoral, bashes? Or is it for coping with improper road, dirty drains, “always under construction sites” esp. during monsoons or for highly polluted natural resources & monuments, endangered natural resources?!??

So, am I sad or angry? Or, am I just shaken, stirred and as helpless as many others. Just as mute, blind and deaf monkey as “Bapu” envisioned the citizens of this country, some monkey years ago.

I don’t know. Nor am I looking for any more answers. It’s so futile.

______________________________________________________________

What did little birdie say: Let’s not worry about those who came through boats, but let’s be seriously worry about those who came through votes and notes!!!

2 Visitor's Comments:

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

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