Walk & talk, What an Idea sirji!

March 31, 2010 20 Comments

An idea can really change your life. Snehashish, the young finance manager of our GSM arm was walking while talking on his mobile. Little did he realize that this idea would change his life and how. While chatting he got hit by a glass door and got 24 stitches near his eye- forehead area. This historic event took place at his swash apartment AKA home. Some ideas do travel like an epidemic. Another gentleman was pursuing this noble “walk & talk” health mission near our office building. A vehicle hit him and shown him “tare zameen par”.

Yours truly also became a victim of this idea. I was starting for my office when a friend called. The beginning was safe. I picked my lappie, documents, locked the house, came to street, and the next moment found myself lying on the road with “sare zameen par”. Shaken but not stirred, walked ahead, caught a taxi for office and pull all the pieces together and switched on my phone again. That night yours truly had terrible body ache. The idea really changed my life and since then I strictly avoid talking on cell phone while walking.

By the way, how does “walk and talk” helps in reducing hazards caused due to prolonged hours of talking on cell phone? I mean is radiation indirectly proportionate to motion? That is to say more you walk, the lesser the radiation. Bah! Simply say, reduce the time spent on mobile and talk in peace. Oh, that may not affect our health but definitely impact the health of telecom companies’. Their MOU (minutes of usage) will plummet, resulting in revenue arrest in the hearts of their books of accounts. This sudden flow will circulate more blood to brains and hey presto, you have won the “battle of customer’s mind”. Right Mr. Al Ries & Jack trout? What an idea sir ji!

Unfortunately, this idea suffered the voltage fluctuation and went kaput. Walking is great practice but “walk n talk”, nah! Not in India at least. How? Let us ask “Khanna aunty”. I invited her to “Twestival- Kolkata” last Friday and what followed, is a wonderful tete’ a tete with our beloved Aunty.

Keep hooked up on this space for another interesting rendezvous of “Main aur Mrs. Khanna”.

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My name is Khan

March 21, 2010 , 23 Comments

I am a Muslim and am not happy.

I am unhappy not because I am a Muslim. I am unhappy because my being “Muslim” is blown out of proportion, unnecessarily. I am unhappy, because “being Muslim” is a misused term, abused by people all around, non-Muslims and unfortunately, Muslims too. I have become a decoy to some people like politicians, fundamentalists and many others for achieving their machinations. I am being exploited. Exploited and shockingly more often by my own folks. However, exploitation is a small word in the context.

When I was born, I was alike to all Rams or Rogers born in that ward. We all wailed and kicked our way to world. Mothers gave birth to us but fundamentalism raised us. We all survive on our mother’s care and milk. Then why did rioters killed little Raghav’s mother, who was still unborn? We came to this earth nude, nothing but with our souls, but when we leave, we have everything but our soul. Then why do you add color to the cover and symbol to the soul? I am unhappy because of “You”.

When I just started sketching some colorful flowers and valleys in my sketchbook, why did you draw line and borders on it. You spoiled my beautiful picture by separating flower from valley and writing India and Pakistan names on it. Would not a flower be a flower irrespective of the valley it grows in? Would you ask a flower’s name, caste or religion before adorning it on Allah or Prabhu?

I wanted to go to school [swat valley] but you sent me to a camp. You gave a gun in my hand and a veil to my sister. Sometime innocent girls like her had to hide her face while all ugly beast around roam without any hizab?

Years passed and your discriminations become stronger. I became Sunni, Sian or Bohra; Kareem, Abdul or Mohammed but not a human. Religion is about nurturing goodwill and mitigating conflicts, but you are doing just opposite. I do not have any problem with any religion or their god. Humankind has happily coexisted even before someone segregated us into Hindu or Muslim. Distribution, as I thought was to bring the cultural diversity and add more colors to life. Unfortunately, that color is now devoid with festivity but only blood stains of innocents. When I have grown up, I liked this lovely girl and wanted to marry her. You said why her name is Radha and not ruksana? How does that make any difference to our life, happiness together, the children we have or name of God? What has religion to do with love or my being a good son to do with my choice of girl? Would she be a better human being if she were a Khan, Rehman or Ali or I a Pandit, Sharma or Kapoor?

I was told that western world is more open and approachable. One of you objected me from going there, with a tag that we are too moderate, too western, beat me up? Another one of you objected my livelihood, with a sneer and suspicion, beat my spirits up. When I go out of the country, why am labeled as fanatic because I have Pakistani name?

Terrorism has no religion, than why they call me a terrorist. ‘A’ for apple is just one interpretation of many and not a universal truth. Then why are you teaching the world “M” for “Muslim” and “Muslim” for “terrorism”? Why you have different treatment for your own citizens who create biggest frauds, manipulations, massacre in world, and still roam around loose? Your negligence is not accounted when you bring the world economy down but yours flourishing through some business even if it is ammunition.

The place you call as Hindu majority is the safest place for me in the world. There is no guarantee that I may not be killed in any nation that I may call as my own? One 9/11 and one of you out casted my entire clan. Where does this patriotism go when you support certain groups with ammunitions? Where does that empathy go when your political missions kills my innocent people?

Why blame others when some of my own people have butchered our pious religion in the name of war and hatred. There is more to love for God than beard, pajama or the appearance. I find my solace in prayers without being fanatic. I find pleasure in music and you cannot call me kaafir. To me, Azan is music, a song that I sing in praise of Allah. My Allah is not the property of you jingoists. No thanks for misinterpretations, I have Koran and can read it my own. Will you Pl stop corrupting my mind in the name of religion and jihad? Will you cease off my children and women as well?

My woman is a Muslim too. Why do you treat her differently? She is Allah’s creation and the next creator after him. Which religion teaches you to call your sister, companion, mother, daughter or a women “haraam”?

My religion, my culture is very pure and pl do not stain it with blood of innocent lives, wishes and dreams. I am very proud of my Id, namaaz and Prophet. But none of it asks me to not rejoice in other fellow’s happiness or respect someone else’ God. I was taught about the ‘oneness” of the God. So, why do you make such a furor if I bow my head in front of any non-Muslim shrine or when I celebrate a festival other than mine?

In troubled times, human always tend to resort to god as their last hope. Similarly, in today’s time, we human are constantly using it as our tool. God’s name is the resort for all problems but in today’s time why are you making it an excuse for all problems. Why? Why do you in name of god, curse the god with your petty motives?

It was mere another name for types of caste for me. Years later, it became an icon of its sort. When you demolish babri masjid, create Gothra massacre, you kill human first and then the religion.

Discrimination happens to everyone, whether it is woman, disabled, dalits or anyone. Is this a disability of any sort? If you have to discriminate, then do it for the “religiously challenged” ones, people who use religion as a mean to their motives and exploit. Pl do not manipulate my wonderful religion for your personal gains. Pl do not kill us in the name of god. Stop misleading me in the name of Islam. Stop venerating brutality in name of religion.

II am not happy, because of “You”. Its “you” who makes me, and "us", so unhappy.
PS: I have written this post long time back last year but could not post. Trust it doesn not reflect its antic-ness :)

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Forget Ajmal Kasab, MF Hussain is the new national treasure!

March 14, 2010 17 Comments

Pornography is the new art & Hindu bashing, the latest fashion: conveys MF Hussain

Maqbool Fida Hussain is a great artist, visionary and a respectful Indian citizen. His work celebrates interpretation and improvisation on the canvas. [And the so-called modernism]. A talent so unrecognized and wasted by us Indians and especially Hindus. The very proof lies in the fact that how we bigoted; inartistic, uneducated illiterate, educated illiterate, Indians harassed, victimized the great legend and pushed him to leave this raped country to find solace in a more tolerant, secular and democratic place.

After all Hinduism is not India’s “official” religion and therefore Hindu gods-goddesses are worthy enough to be painted nude, obscene and in a derogatory manner. We are prisoners of Victorian tastes and morality who do not know how to appreciate art and freedom of expression. How dare Hinduism still exist and alive in the Y2K [post 9/11] world? If it still exists, it deserves to undergo insult, hate and continuous damage. Why blame the poor nonagenarian artist alone. He was after all just trying to make money like most of us. So what if he tried to make that money by humiliating Hinduism? Isn’t that the latest fashion like Gandhi bashing? Where is the humiliation by the way? He just painted Hindu deity nudes. So what if a portion of population considers their deity as mother and father? In Fine arts it is fine to paint your parents nude, oops!! in this case someone else’s parents or parents of entire community. It is modern world, modern art for dummies. Nudity is the purest form of art. Paintings, as any art needs to be understood and not condemned. So if Hindu did not complained when their deities were caricatured into cartoons, holy songs were mutilated and other such blasphemy, then why are they making such a hue and cry now? Gosh, how intolerant Hindus can be. They should suffer and cry in silence as always. Why do they protest? It is national treason and global sacrilege.

Painting:Book::Hussain: Rushdie

Mohd. Azhar is one of the most successful captains in Indian cricket. Once while playing a match in Bihar, someone stole his cap from the stands. It was such a great loss that in a fit of emotion, he labeled all Bihari as “thieves”. Instead of giving a proper apology, he rid away crying, “I am minority, I am minority”. No body protested. The same minority-speaking person went ahead divorcing mother of his two children, his wife who apparently belong to the same community, on the pious day of ID, to marry his celebrity girlfriend. Why did nobody remind him of his song from the cap controversy? However, when MFH does something radical, it makes national fodder. Tsch.

Numbers of people leave country and migrate abroad, reason whatsoever. Damn with them, they are cattle class. MF Hussain is the only national treasure after Ajmal Kasab.

On other side of coin, a huge amount of money [in lines of crores per day] is spent on security of some handful public servants read politicians and their families. Whereas poor MF Hussain who bought so much of GDP/foreign currency to our country and basic respect to the religious belief of its people, was not given a VVIP security from government of India. Sigh. Why do we give our hard earn money to govt as taxes if they cannot buy cradle for Hussain. So what, if Digvijay Singh cannot ensure safety of non-marathis in Mumbai, he will leave no stone unturned to bring MF Hussain back to the country.

Being Hindu in India is merely equal to khakhi knickers?
Poor MF Hussain, such a man of liberal ideology and communal harmony. He did nothing offensive but we made him a scapegoat of saffron activist. He is a naughty child who just painted deities nude and how dare Hindus protest him. After all, it is more important for MF Hussain to be in India, so what if he makes a porn out of a nation’s religious beliefs to buy his phoren trips and comfort. Hindus be damned. Who has cared about them anyway? Common people, Mango people, Cattle class we are. When a suave politician like Tharoor says the word, it becomes a national offense. His freedom of expression be damned, he must have a political interest behind. All Hindus are like VHP, BJP and Bajrang dals, only politicians. It is more imperative to see Hindu issues as mere political campaigns. Hindu sensibilities and belief are mere caricature of saffron brigade. Is there any country as supportive as Qatar, which can protect the religious sentiments of Hindus? Cause India is no longer a safe place for its so-called majority group. Sigh. Someone, pl do adopt us.
“Apne desh mein hum hai pardeshi; yeh koi kya jane!

I am a Hindu, but I respect Islam too. So what if one of its followers maligned it by insulting the faith of other religion. I would never suggest MFH or anyone to paint his deity nude. Let whatever glory, beauty nudity brings; there are indeed better ways to practice freedom of expression instead. Mr. Hussain, pl feel blessed that you were born in a country like India and humiliated people like Hindus. Your leaving the nation rich and UNPUNISHED is definitely the national loss. India must win you back. How? By paying higher price for your disgusting paintings or by giving you national security? Well after this controversy, your sale is anyways going to boost and your security is already taken care in new country. Alternatively, by giving you more lead of different religion, people you can paint nude and mint money in name of artistic display and freedom of expression.

Let me have another good guess- It can be also initiated by releasing new movie of “Madhuri dhak-dhak Dixit” exclusively in India. Who is Madhuri Dixit? Taboo-taboo!

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