There is a Mother in Mother in Law too #HappyMothersDay

May 08, 2016 Relationship 7 Comments

"Since God cannot be everywhere, he made mothers"



It was 9:00 am in the morning. Richa packed her purse, checked her makeup and hurried outside her room. She ignored her in-laws sitting in the drawing room as usual and stormed out of the main door. She reached out to her car keys and drove towards her office, playing her favorite music till she reached her office.

Richa is an upwardly mobile woman, hailing from the sleepy town of Nanded, Maharashtra. She worked as a hardware engineer in an MNC and stayed with her husband in a rented apartment in Pune. She was the elder of the two daughters hailing to a middle-class family and took it upon her to support her parents and younger sister even after her marriage to Kaushal, four years ago.

It was a love marriage wherein Kaushal and his family supported her whole-heartedly right from the wedding ceremony to the decision of staying away for her career, to continuing her job and almost everything. Her father was a retired insurance agent and mother, a housewife. She was very close to her family and including her sister, who was equally qualified, working with a software firm and living in the same city as she.

It was the month of April and her in-laws were visiting her from a quaint little town near Kashi where they were living post-retirement. Kaushal was keen on his parents to stay with him, a decision that did not go well with Richa. She tried different tacts in her book to disconnect with them including not being at home till late in the night, spending time with her sister and friends, locking herself in her room and phone, ignoring them at all possible occasion including festivals among others.

The in-laws were simple, loving people who were quite fond of her daughter in law but were unable to deal with her frequent mood swings, were in shock initially with her behavior, followed by denial and later acceptance. Kaushal, being a doting son and a loving husband would often try to cover his wife's acts and assuage his parents to stay with him. He promised Richa's mother to take care of her happiness, a one-sided promise that ruined his personal life and equations with his own family. He tried very hard to strike a healthy balance but it was not in Richa's skin to co-habitat with others.

She felt it is a breach of her individuality and was always up with silly excuses to blame others and create a needless rift with her extended family.

Well, Richa is not the only one, but there are many other women like Richa who use Feminism as a tool for their Shenanigans. They abuse the ill of women related issue but using them as the cue to wash their hands, insensitively. They use sensitive issues like dowry, women rights, divorce etc as the tool to make their means work.

It is sad and incredible.

Who is to blame and why?
We often forget that other women are also someone's mother, daughter, sister or wife. We are so self-absorbed with our emotions and understanding of a family that we fail to see that there are emotions and world that exist beyond us too.

It is a mother who inculcates these values in us. It is the early upbringing in our lives that influence our larger part of lives. Whether it is son or daughter, a mother is instrumental in imbibing right values.

This is not just about Richa but many like her who twist and turn their world to suit their conveniences. Some of them end up with divorces, a broken marriage, and big alimony. Little do they realize that money cannot soothe all the pain that life may bring. Youth does not last long, neither the arrogance.

If you are wondering, what happened with Richa, well, her in-laws moved back to their small house near Kashi. Kaushal who was a doting husband moved away from her. They lived a mechanical life of office at home and home to office. Seeing Richa's chemistry with her family, her sister's marriage was called off before finalization.The groom's family in a bid to learn more about the girl and the family enquired about her sister's wedded life. While Kaushal's parents lived tight-lipped, Richa's own behavior became the reason for the discord in her sister's marital life. Her arrogance that she was earning better than her husband, fell apart as she found herself alone, managing all her expenses. Relatives first blamed Kaushal and his family, soon they could see the real reason and She tried starting a new life by marrying Shailesh but her past haunted him. Her second marriage was disastrous. Unlike Kaushal who bore all the expenses, Shailesh demanded his wife to contribute equally as she was earning too. She threatened to walk out and he happily showed her the way. Her selfish acts delineated her from her sister who realized the folly of Richa and refused to take her in.

Richa applied for a movement to the USA which was accepted. She moved to the USA but was given handshake due to company's restructuring which focussed on employing the natives over migrants or Non-residents. She wanted to go back to Kaushal but that was not possible now. Richa with her shrewd ways spoiled her life and a family that could have been her pillar of strength.

I Promise mom
Every mother should teach their daughters to be compassionate and accommodating. Every daughter should promise her mother that she will build a home and not the house. Of course, I am not talking about the unfortunate lives here. There are different segments that exist in society. While not every mother in law could be a mother, not every mother is a "monster-in-law". A woman should promise her mom to take care of her mother in law like they took care of their mother. Mother in laws should love them back

A woman is a born mother

If a mother in law needs to understand what her daughter in law wants, a daughter in law to has to understand what love her mother-in-law wants. If every mother in law was daughter in law once, every daughter in law will be a mother-in-law one day. If they are not, they should still believe in the fairness of Mother Nature.

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PS: The names are fictional and used for the narrative. No intention to harm any animal, tree or human being.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.