Baaghi A Formula Based Rebel: Movie review in pictures
Hello, meet us. We are two good looking star kids, paired first time in a movie that will not just do injustice to our pairing but end up make us look fools. Ah! now we may not be fools but you sure feel like one after watching this movie. How? See and tell, but do not ask us a refund.
So, shall we dance? oops, start the narrative before we break into impromptu "support Monsoon" dance?
Review of Baaghi in pictures
1) How I Met Your daughter?
Let's flash with Flashback.
We just met inside a train.
So Jab we met, no-no not the movie Jab We Met. Like that movie, we also met in a train. However when we met, sparks flew literally and we break into a dance sequence, in the rain.
She told me that I will go very far, like the script of this movie. And yes, you are wearing white too.
Yeah! that reminds of a movie that our Dads did together by the name of Hero. Wherein, my dad- the "aao kapoor " literally rapes your dad's heroine after seeing her [Meenakshi Sheshadri] drenched in the rain. Please no hard feelings and remember, you are the hero of this film.
No problem Shraddha. Our on screen chemistry is anyways low, so lets not do marital but some Martial Arts. All in Good Shradha!
|By the way, your skin is fairer than mine tifer, tum kya lake-me nahate ho?|
2) Hey Villain
Yeah me too..Meet me I am the villain of this film who is "it's different" like the Maggi sauce. I am the one who killed my father like Guru, who was apparently an expert in kalarippayattu, after seeing a rain dancing Shradha Kapoor [in white]. Ah! such is "love at first site dance". After killing my Guru like an ant, I was on my way to kill her rain prancing hero who wants to marry her. I changed my plan as stock exchange crashed and I have to rush to Chris Daimler for stock advice.
If you are wondering what happens to my undying love for the heroine, well I left her back in Kerala in Good Shraddha. [Good hope]
After all, who hires Sherlock Holmes in 2016? As long as South Indian Magazines are sold in Bangkok, I know how to find my ladylove and kidnap her to bangkok without Visa, security check but her bustier cloths. There is another good quality in me. I am a modern day Raavan who kidnaps his See-ta and locks her in a room with cloudering labels and Sweden brands". Paavam, I am a mercenary fighter who kills for money, poisons his Guru, almost gets an innocent child murdered but I won't touch my bride to be until my big fat wedding- values you see. But it is ok to kill people and get her beaten by my goons.
Abhi I am taking a break so my girl can do some more rain dance and romance with a man who calls himself a rebel but cause unknown
Tiger this movie is tanking. We need to do something. Let's replicate the oomph from "dil se" to compensate for director's film making lacking "dimag se".
PS: There are certain formulas that every film is 'mad' of. Here's deciphering few of them
Formula no 1- Hot Body
|Hot Body 1|
|Hot Body 2|
|Hot Body and Good looks. What was Heroine Weeding?|
Formula no 2: Smashing Action
|Ah! Let me take picture of this grasshopper|
|More borrowed action. Chan ki Films nahi dekhte kya?|
|Yeah Enough of Audio Sales. Shraddha you sang a song too. Come lets go to Bangkok. Leave some songs for second half too|
|How Dare you kid-nap me. Do you know who is my Father? I am running away with my estranged Hero who has come to Bangkok to rescue me. Did I not tell him that he will go long way?|
|Do not worry, we shall soon breakout in a rain and song sequence before settling scores with the villain|
Come Lets Kiss and Make up, so that we can break in to a song. If the movie does not work, at least the audio rights can help salvage some cash to pay for awards
|However, pointless it may sound but we were suppose to return back to India or run to save our lives, but here we are insteading running behind waterfalls. Such a water baby we are!|
|If only you would have killed the Villain in hospital, we could have more dress change in the song. Now I have to go back to his Villa|
|Let me go. Do You know who my father is?|
|Stop showing off your father around. Time to get in some action, kill the goon like true Bollywood Movie|
|Game Over. Now you all go to home, I need to meet someone|
Sajid Nadiadwala, how can you do this to me and my career? Abhi Toh maine start kiya hai
Tsch...mera paycheque do.
And that's how cookie crumbles and movies in India are made.
Do not blame us, as we too wanted to shoot ourselves after watching this movie
Peace bro peace.. Did Sajid returned anyone's money after making movies like housefull 2 and so? So why expect him to return it this time. I know all you girls oggled my son Tiger. And that should be your comforting [read compensating factor].
Bidu, The author of this blog likes the hardwork and sincerity he brings in. No wonder he is "Fitness icon of the year". Do not believe me? see the poster of both the Baaghi movies. He can fit his heroine in his jacket which Sallu couldn't do. Being the accomodating star he is, he started removing his shirts in films thereafter so all his heroine could fit in. Now you know why? Sabki apni apni Shraddha Hai bidu!