iPhone 17, Saiyara and Ba-Tards of Bollywood

Apple, Bollywood and the Reverse Uno

Every year, Apple releases a new iPhone, much like Bollywood launching a new nepo kid, often by filmmaker Karan Johar, the Messiah of famous star kids. This year, a star kid launched Karan Johar in his much-hyped Netflix series- B of Bollywood. 

It is the new talk of the town after Saiyara and, most importantly, its toxic fandom [PR or Bad PR]. Both the films landed with more drama than Apple's keynote. If Saiyara was a cinematic delight with fresh new faces, this one ended up as a full masala potboiler. The iPhone may have confused the innovation, but this series actually feeds your gossip spice racks. 

Together, they are a good break from some of the Over-the-top South Indian action films dubbed in Hindi. Or Bollywood Actors churning ad nauseam [read killing the vibes] with South Indian remakes or Akshay Kumar's famed biographies. When Bollywood films struggled at the box office, southern films with over-the-top action scenes topped the charts. While I prefer to watch regional language films in their original language, with subtitles, of course. Given a choice between watching Pushpa or Housefull, I would rather watch the latter, brainrot hoping it's half as funny even in flashing intervals. 

Saiyyara is sweet and dunno for strange reasons, it reminded me of the late actor Divya Bharti. She was too good. 

Bollywood's feigned attempt to create the same aura with Jawaan and Pathaan may have set cash registers ringing, but it did not garner the same fandom that these Southern fanfares were attracting, and rightfully so. While you mourn the death of cinema, with propaganda films, lousy stars, over-hyped projects, et cetera, OTT brought some relief even for those who could not actively go to the theatres to watch big action on a big screen and Dolby sound and come back witnessing the mayhem, the leading stars or ageing actors charging crores for no entertainment. And on top of that- Hamming like ewww!

If Farah Khan used the rise of star power to make Om Shanti Om, B of B [and not Bank of Baroda] encashes the downfall of star power to accelerate his debut. And of course, the return of a multistarrer with a major Farah Khan Hangover, a loud cameo by Rajat Bedi, Manoj Pahwa, and a lead actor with a good screen presence, yet failed to sustain an impression. The dramatic wig-haired Sodawala created more empathy than Lakshya's Aasman Singh. The twist was basic yet ROFL, especially after a tiring, never-ending car chase scene. It was so dramatic that you wonder if a film was being shot inside a Bollywood-based story. 

Raghv Juyal, the guy who played Soumen, and Emraan Hashmi were a good watch. And Gafur became the next Gabbar in town, a benevolent, as white washed gangster like Jeetendra's famous on-screen attire. 

The unnecessary LGBTQ angle placement was a stark hypocrisy, taking insensitive digs at the DJ's character, belonging to the same community, maybe? 

The twist is simple, yet when it lands, you have the awe and shock moment for sure. It is indeed hilarious and well-executed while you wonder why they're stretching the mad chase and such hue and cry for a court wedding in the middle of the night. The pink Ferrari, the VR games and a gross brother all add to the madness. Rajat Bedi and Manoj Pahwa were overutilized, turning the salt of their characters into a sodium overdose. Thankfully, it ended, and sadly, was applauded for the wrong reasons. 

To sum it up, some people took offence to the words nepotism, Bollywood mafia, Bollywood nexus with underworld, et cetera. Red chillies and Aryan Khan took them all as an opportunity, decorated it in a package and produced Baxxxx of Bollywood. 

The series further peels the glossy, glittering, gold wallpaper of the Bollywood to reveal the chaos underneath- equal parts stare, scandal. Aryan Khan's much-talked-about venture is not just a directorial debut, but it successfully launches a new star kid who is more talked about than the lead actors. A new star with a silver spoon, sprinkling it with enough silver and meta moment that makes Om Shanti Om look like a dress rehearsal. Stylish, sly and self-referential- the kind of new-age storytelling that winks at the audience while serving them a piping hot sizzler of fame, fakeness and filmi redemption. A lot like the new iPhone, wrapped in a tanned orange colour.

While orange is the new black, people are waiting in queues to take their fav iPhone for hours.  Ghante ka baadsah is here to stay and will make a cool new buzzword for the next item song[coolab]. SRK, are you listening? 

I'm finally gonna publish this draft. Go Read, Go watch!

Numerounity

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