Circle of life: [Part II]- The butter chronicles!!!

[Before reading this post, I recommend you to read the part one. It will help both of us]

School days were over a long time back and Little Ekta has moved up & above her test papers. The only test that still scares her most is a “blood test” or specimens like that. From the days of studying soil erosion to managing foil consumption in her kitchen [ahem], she has come a long way and so does her everyday tense-ions! However, she still loves video games, the only difference is that instead of playing it on TV, she plays on her laptop and calls it computer games. [And these days- Farmville/restaurant city]

Yes, I said kitchen. From business management to dupatta management to now kitchen management, a motley of numerous interesting, challenging, sad and funny stories have filled my travelogues. However, the crux of all of them is- No matter what you do, where you go and what you achieve- Home is where the heart is. In addition, in the heart of the home, there is a kitchen!

Similarly, the heart of our body is stomach and like men, one of the ways through my heart goes through my stomach too. No-no I do not intend to say that one needs to be a chef or so to impress me. It is just one of the small jughead ways to impress this Dilton.

In the first of my trilogy- “The fat cow theory”, I have asked the relation between grass and the butter. Yeah, a lot of you read it right and now is the time to unveil the curtain officially and tell you the second story from “circle of my life” series. Game?

It all started when my cook Kakuli didi handed me a bread packet, some eggs, and no butter. I was miffed that despite my two reminders she had again forgotten to bring the butter. Typically, of overall instructions given, she will abide by only 40% compliance. Rest all is accredited to my patience, forgiveness or finally self-execution. Her explanation was as ‘gol-gol’ as her eyes. She claimed to have checked with all the grocery shops in the nearest EC market, Labony etc and arrived at the conclusion that butter is not available anywhere. There is no supply since last few weeks and it may continue to another month or two. What? Butter is out of stock? Dodo!

No butter! How a young, single girl in town will survive without her bread & butter? Bread and butter are all my bread n butter. It is as criminal to tell a school going Ekta not play video games and even younger Ekta not eat butter.

“How could this be possible”? “Maybe she did not check properly and is lying”, “maybe she checked but is not able to convey the right reason due to language differences” “Maybe she is correct”, “Maybe I am hallucinating”, I thought.

There is an exorbitant increase in commodity price but going stockless on
Amul butter is unbelievable. The filmy mind started rolling- Lights, Camera, sound, and Flashback! I was soon into the black and white past.

Take one- Couple of day’s back I went to the otherwise C3 stores at City center [The reason I said “otherwise” is an attribution to this great Indian retail chain, which boasts of Cost, Convenience and comfort [C3] but provides none. And why that? One, there is barely any useful stock when you visit them, Two, for purchases below Rs 250, you need to pay by cash else go to hell; we are not interested in selling. That strikes off the comfort and convenience. Regarding Cost, well the time when the entire world incl local grocer, Spencer’s, big bazaar etc were selling lentils at or around 50-60 per kg, C3 has it available at nothing less than Rs 83 per kg, keeping the quality, quantity, and breed exactly the same- MECE anyone? :) Well, they said “cost” and not “cost effective”. Therefore, you exactly cannot blame them.]. Therefore, when I visited C3 stores, I, as usual, found the store out of its many stocks incl “The great Indian butter". I anyways was not in the mood for purchasing anything from the brutish coquettish store so I moved on after giving the store manager a good piece of advice. I was incongruously becoming like that lead actor from the latest “aam ki pyaas” commercial.

My “butter ki pyas” then took me to take two. I went to a local grocer in expectation of benefiting from the great-unorganized Indian Kirana sector. “Dada sobe ginish to hoye gelo, achcha ek tu butter aache”? kya? nei? kobe aache? kobe-Kothay pabo? Kyo nahi mil raha? “Sawalo ke jawab to mil gaye but makhkhan nahi mila. [Dada I have bought everything that I needed. Ok, do we have a packet of butter? What? It's not there? Why? Where would I get? No idea? Sigh].

My heart sank further when the shop wallah confirmed the banishing tale of the vanishing cream oops butter. I walked back home with heavy heart and switched the TV to divert with art.

Channel 1 – A young Kanha singing “Maiyya mori mein nahi ‘maakhan’ khayo
Channel 2- Bachchan & Govinda in melting moves with Miss Dixit- “Makhna o’ mere Makhna”
Channel 3- A young Meera with Lord Krishna’s statue- Ye lo Kanha tumhara manapasand Makhkhan [mera bhi]

[Gosh, these Hindi channels are too much; switch to Punjabi channel]
Channel 4- A group of women churning butter and serving it in bowls with “makke ki roti” [Adding fuel to my appetite, sadist]

Cut to Zee TV
Channel 5- Welcome to 
khana khazana today is our “butter special show” and our recipe for the day is- “veg Makhkhan wallah”, Butter Nan and butterscotch ice cream

Cut to news channel Channel 6- A full-fledged Amul butter Ad taking on its competitor
nutralite fat-free table spread

Channel 7- Welcome to XYZ health show with Anjali Eastwal and in today’s show, we will discuss how to cut that extra fat by cutting your butter consumption [Arre hai kaha jo cut down karoon]. The show began with sinful sights of butter rich food- parathas, pav-bhaji etc where the chef pours dollops of mouth-watering butter on the visually kindling cuisines. Crime, criminal, cardinal sin!

Cut to Movie channel-
A b/w Kishore Kumar movie was coming. I heaved a sigh of a comic relief until this scene appeared where the great thespian is greasing his boss’s face with butter. The scene goes like this
Boss: “Arre yeh kya kar rahe ho” [hell what are you doing?]
Kishore da: “Malik woh mere dost ne kaha agar pagar bandhani hai to apne boss ko maska laga. So, wahi laga raha hoon- Maska.” [Boss a friend of mine suggested that to get my salary increased, I need to butter-up my boss. Hence, I am buttering you.]


Trust me, even if I had switch any sports channel, there too some sadistic butter reference would/ve written all over. Like- “Makhkhan lal” cricket cup [Sponsored by Haryana CM fund] or Bhajji & Sreesanth
patching up over friendly exchange of Bhajji’s Punjab da butter & Latter’ mallu coconut oil or Bhajji & Sreesanth further roughening up with a debate on which is more greasier- Punjab da Makhkhan ya Kerala ka coconut oil. Alternatively, if you can spare me the horrors- team India featuring in a butter product ad with their spiked hairs, even more stylish cars and overgrown bellies.

Nevertheless, my cook was right that butter is really out of supply and so do its poor cousins like table spread, nutralite etc. Is it the increased butter export that dented my bread or is it another strategy of Amul & co to fuel up the butter price. At Rs 22 for 100grams, it was no cheaper and if we give statistics a chance over yellow revolution then Amul butter has hiked its price by 47% since 2004. Is it price manipulation or something else? I wonder how come the visionary, sixth sense activated India TVs *& Aaj Taks of the world forgot to feature this upcoming national threat [They must be busy searching “swarg-nark ka dwar” or “a girl who turns in to stone” or analyzing one scene from a reality show over n again blah blah].

My “butter ki Pyas” was not getting any better. If someone said- toast, I replied yes I will have one with butter. News, television, super market I was let down by all. Teleshopping? Nah! They will send me everything that I do not need than the thing that I actually need. Think Ekta think! Do not stop until you find a solution & till then do not switch your television set on:)

Beta, mann mein ladoo phoota aur dimag ki batti jal gayi! An idea changed my life by making it butter oops better. My B-school experience reminded me of Amul’s supply chain management. Well there is an exclusive Amul store in city centre and I can check there. I put my shades on and rushed to the store. It was thankfully open and manned by two sweet looking chaps. Bonus!

Alas! The store also ran out of it's butter supply but the chaps were delighted by my general knowledge on butter invisibility. Why me god? Why me? Khush to bahut honge na aap, ab kya? But Beta, mann mein doosra Ladoo phoota! The charm that pleased “hard to get” chap like Shahnawaz, worked wonders here too. The attendants disclosed the next supply date which was 2 days away i.e. on Tuesday, when they will have stock replenishment, limited though. [Is it case of hoarding/ blackmarketing, my mind moves in different ways and the experience of reality took precedence over my age of innocence.] I need butter after all, let the way whatever is. I can write letter to Mr. Kurien later.

I am getting old, my charm did not work much on the two butter scotch oops butter shop guys. In the age of pre-paid, they refused advance booking. Tuesday 4:00pm is the D-day page in butter chronicle and I cannot afford to miss it.

Monday afternoon I literally counted the minutes so that I can quickly go to the shop and get my share of utterly butterly delicious! Taxi, City centre please. Humph-Humph, rush-rush and here I am, just two step away from the nooky Amul store. Oh, you just pointed out that I ve written Monday whereas the store wallah asked Tuesday! Yeah, in over excitement I actually forgot that fact and made such a butter fly oops butter fool of my self:) [If AMUL CEO is listening, pl hire me as your brand ambassador and you will be hit on Viral marketing, word of mouth marketing & Customer loyalty] well you cant except any MBA To not talk in jargons anyways.

So, if you are wondering that whether this grown up Ekta MBA finally got her share of butter or not, yeh dekhenge “hum log”.

Come Tuesday and my mathematically challenged mind started calculating. Project Operation Butter, Venue- Amul Shop at City Centre Mall, time - 4:00pm; approx time to leave office 7:00pm. Risk involved-High. Mind is a very devious devil, it starts working once you are out of office. Now, can I do without Butter? No. Can I scoot out from office at 4:00, pick the butter and back to work? Nah, business non value added cost/activity. Can I risk it till 6:30 pm? Umm- High risk; low return; uncontrollable market dynamics. Can I ask someone else to pick it for me? Viable; feasible and cost effective.

Project BRBU: 'Branded Retail Business unit' AKA 'Branded retail brotherhood utility'. Who says women cannot read map? Women do not waste time in reading maps; they believe in networking. Vrooom I took a reverse gear and turned “Aagey se right” towards my light [read knight] at the end of tunnel- my True Value Hub store. I have switched to Tata Indicom and experienced the difference.

Our store manager came handy. I told him how brotherhood can visit neighborhood at 4:00pm Tuesday afternoon and help my butter crisis out. Guys, you just pick the butter and keep with you. I shall pick it up in the evening after office hours. Agreed, nodded and delivered. Mission accomplished and a new feather in cap for Amul's supply chain management case studies and me with all my fingers dipped in butter. I am loving it:)

Oh! If you are still wondering the relation between grass and the butter, here it is-

Got the picture? literally! :)

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write


  1. part 1:I m the first one to comment this time.Yo gung ho!

    Part 2: comments blog padhne ke baad

  2. Anonymous08 November

    Too long post. No idea what message you want to convey.

  3. hehehehe, thats was a really fun post.

    @Anonymous-What message, why do blogs need to convey messages. it was long, but fun read. :)

  4. And the photographs on the header are gorgeous. try applying for a beauty pageant.Seriously.:D

  5. @ Akash
    Lol...So, part 2 is still awaited:)

    @ Anonymous
    Thanks for writing in however anonymously you had:)

    @ ZB
    Chak de phhate, phat de gill- something like that! He hee thanks buddy for liking it and more thanks for voicing out for me. I know it was long but then i wanted to add so many things bringing homogenity.

    Thanks for compliments. Let me consider:)

  6. That was a very well written post. I know there was a crisis of butter here but thankfully was able to get butter from New Market 100g...three days i had to eat paratha and not my favorite bread n butter :)!! I too simply cant think of break fast without it.

    That C3 concept was too good...really enjoyed reading your post...

  7. @ Nazish
    Thanks a ton! I have checked even today and butter is still out of supply:)

    Need to gear up again and go butter hunting:)

  8. Butter Butter Ki Baat Hai......

    Should I be glad you sailed through all those harrowing incidences of Makkhan......:)

    Btw, Am so not into Farmville and at least 7 of my friends have threatened to remove me if I do not accept their request which I have 'ignored' more than 20 times so far. That interesting? I do not know. I got bored of twitter in 5 mins, so wonder...

    P.S. Some of your hyperlinks did not open.

  9. @ Vee

    Point noted. I will check the links and do the needful.

    So, should you be glad or not, you should decide. I shall be glad to know if u liked this post:)

    I know. I was in same frame as you are earlier reg FV and resaturent city. But once i sarted playing. It got so addictive. Now I am on process of fatigue and loosing the addiction.

    REst all Butter butter ki baat hai:)

  10. Of course I did. And who will not to see how so many unrelated things can be linked or rather buttered up. :)

  11. @ Vee
    Thanks buddy...I just read your new post and absolutely loved it:)

  12. A great one as usual.It was real fun to read the desperate attempts of butter starved Ekta.Guess our retail team shud go thru this post to learn they are a proud part of this writing.

    Loved your attempt.Keep showering us with such good posts.:)

  13. LOL yaar... you are dying for butter...

    from the moment you heard from your maid to gtting it by Tuesday you are on a adventure..

    but seriously I never liked butter... most of the milk products, I can say...

    /*I am getting old, my charm did not work much on the two butter scotch oops butter shop guys.*/

    he he he... LOL :)

    Sorry for being late here Ekta.. as I have already said... the internet connection was gone during weekend and I am catching up with the missed posts...

    and I have read your interview.. its so straight.. and you seem to be a different girl... always loves to learn new things... :) be that way..

    and its so nice.. will try to put a detailed comment soon :)

  14. @ Sukanya
    Thanks a ton buddy! In fact Rana came to know about the TVH guy delivering butter for me. He apparently have gone to that office that sunday and saw the packet of butters that the store manager has bought for me. Office aane ke baad he smiled at me and said- aajkal bahut butter khaya ja raha hai:)

    @ Kanagu
    Thanks a ton buddy! You love stuff more when they go missing. I too do not like normal milk products but better on toast is something special and evergreen:)

    See ya soon:) Take care:)

  15. Hey Ekta...hav no idea how i missed this post :( sorry and ha ha ha quite contradict to mine indeed!! never thought that!! :D..oo am never into farmville and didnt realise yur were in FB anyways.. ya C3 concept :D lol and boy yu were on a roll from the maid...! yes..butter ka kahani...y not lets team up..yu butter and me my fav choc..write up a funny freak post...wonder no one except yu and me will read it..!

  16. @ Hary

    Hahaa...never mind. Yup FB is my latest addiction and yes let's team up and write a post...lets see how many ppl we can force to read:)

  17. hmm..

    someone said..

    "No love is as sincere as love for food"


  18. @ Manoj

    Thanks and yeah you are right:)

    Welcome to my blog. Nice to have you here:)


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