Yeh Modi Itne Melody Kyu Hai? Khanna Aunty on Achche Din and Serial Prime Minister

From Chacha to Chowkidaar

Last week, Khanna Aunty threw a big party. Not celebrating just her anniversary, but the fact that our beloved PM Modiji has surpassed Nehruji to become the longest-serving PM of India. 

She was generous and did mehmaano ka swagat [welcomed the guest] with a special Tea- Champagne called Royal Bengal. 

Here's a quick tea, oops, tete a tete from her eclectic bash.

Me: Nice party, Aunty!

Khanna Aunty KA: Thanks, Beta. It's not a party but a bash. Modiji surpassed Nehruji to become the longest-serving PM of India.

Me: Oh, that means, now the buck stops at Modiji, after years of Nehru "Bashing"?

Khanna Aunty: Betaji, this is Modiji's bash and not Nehruji's. Btw, I really liked your article on the BJP crisis in Delhi NCR. I really want to treat you with our special dessert, watermelon and chocolate salad - Melony Milan. Can you guess the secret ingredient?

Me: Jhal muri?

K Aunty: Haha, you are a very funny girl. Jhal Muri is also on the menu, but at the snacks counter. 

You see, today's menu is inspired by fireless cooking.

Me: Oh, why, AUNTY, have you also run out of LPG supply? 

Khanna Aunty: Oh no, not at all. Modiji has made Iran open the straits of hormones, full-time LPG through the ADANI pipeline. 

Me: Strait of Hormuz, you meant?

Aunty: Same thing, haha, potato tomato. When you hit perimenopause, the glacial melt, the increased GST on medicines, Geo Politics, doesn't hurt as much as the traitor Hormones do. Harmanes Bewajah! 

I couldn't agree less on the hormonal warfare, but natural harmony does concern me. 

I sneaked into the dining area, hoping to quickly finish my dinner. Call me asocial, but I'm better off stuffing my mouth with oily party food rather than exchanging genuine smiles with fake and greasy people on the lawn. Yawn, while some were bragging eulogies on the stage, some came wearing the chowkidaar cap. 

No wonder such people encircle the PM coterie. Whatever happened to the "Nindak Niyare Rakhiye" [Keep critics close to you]  

From Chowkidaar to Media Chutkula [Joke]

Anyways, while I moved at the beverage counter looking for the missing buttermilk, a familiar hand fell on my shoulders. It was Khanna aunty wanting me to try their special chai chach, an alliteration made from the finest jersey cow milk, imported from Switzerland, topped with Darjeeling fine blend with a hint of Saffron. She quipped- You see now, even Bengal is under Modiji. Waah modiji waah!

Me: Err, why Jersey cow from Switzerland? Whatever happened to our Indian Gau Mata? 

Khanna Aunty: Na na, the amount of injections they're taking to increase milking is scary. I would rather turn Vegetarian soon.

I wondered if she meant vegan, but then I looked at the leather sofas on the lawn, sitting on their back, smiling back at me.  Before we could stirr another hornet's nest, Khanna uncle asked her to send whiskey to his friends from the Education Board. Aunty wonder what to send- water or ice.

Me: Serve it NEET. 

Khanna Aunty: ROFL Now, that's CUET!

We both giggled in unison, saying- We will C[See]BSE it later. Do not blame us when education has become a silly joke in this country. Students are struggling to enter the examination hall, while the system has already surrendered to corruption. 

A 17-year-old could still fearlessly share the report of how a highly paid national machinery is actually obsolete. Yet instead of overhauling, we are throwing caution to airforce..err Air. No, Smriti Irani was seen on the roads. Raghav Chaddha's gig swept him off to a new ideology. And Modiji is busy promoting toffee and new memes, now internationally. 

Indian media and journalism aren't able to do their job, but are humiliating those who are doing beyond their jobs- the educators. 

If you recall, back in 2010, Khanna Aunty and I discussed Amir Khan [3 idiots]. It is 2026, and the Khan we are discussing is Khan Sir, a popular educator from Bihar. His name is Khan- Faisal Khan, and he is the new James Bond err- Brooke Bond of media Teas. 

Moving ahead from the media's TRP tea to aunty's new fusion tea- chai chach, as distasteful as the new-age fusion food. Now I can totally empathise with Car's engine who are made to gulp the new Ethanol 20-30pc. Horrified, as I planned to make an exit, Khanna Aunty asked me to help her count the gift envelopes. Surprisingly, many people gifted shiny envelopes that were empty from the inside. 

I turned it upside down to see the sender's name or any other info.  None found.

What are these envelopes? I asked.

"Achche Din"  [Good Days] quipped Khanna Aunty.

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Numerounity

PS: Super congrats to our beloved PM for this new feather in the hat. And wishing him a better PR and a capable cabinet. 

The opinion expressed has no agenda, and the writer is party agnostic.