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"Draw-a-yawn-aaaahhh"

It hurts! Having spend a 200 of INR on a precious Sunday morning at Inox, sitting through a neo-surrealism of this sort. C’mon, we must encourage the new creative ideas in film making. So let’s go and watch Ramchand Pakistani instead. At least it impresses.

Ok fine, since its 'bout “Drown-a” oops "Drona" here, let’s quickly run through our checklist.
Big budget-Present Sir;
Impressive star cast- Present sir;
Grand visuals- Me too present sir;
Senseless scripting- terribly present;
Even more senseless treatment- Affluently Present sir;
Wasted good talent- [Sigh] present sir.

Also, making their presence impeccably felt were- Stunt Overdose, Emotional brouhaha, High decibel direct borrowing from Hollywood fantasies brigade, And sherwani of a super hero!!! [Quite a cloak n dagger affair] Seems little Goldie went too far researching for his movie in DVD parlor and museums!!! Tsch Tsch, Mr. editing table.

Well not all that begins well ends well too. The prelude on the “Legend of Drona”, drawing fine correlation with Indian mythology- “the Sagar Manthan” was a very good tactic. [The evident resemblance to Eklavya could be ignored]. But what followed was quite tasteless.

A bad postscript to a good prelude, indeed! The poison spewing family, Overdone KK, Yellow “transporter” kind car, an out of place item no amidst the lost world and what was that- a introduction bit of a song???!!!?? My buddy from pages of my Chennai travel-logue, John Paul [an American bicycled to Tamil hinterland] would ve rechristened it as “Clown-a” [our abridged version of the vernacular flavor where every sentence/word ends with a sweet “aa” sound]. No offense da.

Pri Chops was a delight to watch. I strongly feel her wardrobe would ve tailored a better version for our smart Indian superhero. Think through. At least he wouldn’t have turned up looking like “Durban of drona”.

AB Jr is such a good actor that sometimes he really sleep walk through his role. Yeah, in this one particular he was actually sleeping most of the time [may be when camera was rolling], well so were we. Looks like his buddy behl behl-aoed [belled] him into this gory, by telling- “my dear, lets have a picnic on our sets and I shall give you enough resting time in between your other movie shoots”.
I am still an AB sr fan [even after nishabd] & think it would’ve been more interesting if he played the superhero. Not that I do not like JR but Sr. would’ve salvaged some viewer ship/ eye candy[he still] for the otherwise dud project. It hurts when some directors makes such a fool of their stars.

[Time for a disclaimer: talking about the crass called Nishabd, Mr. Bachchan shouldn’t be bought into guilt. This mess, once again was the crap a certain MR. RGV’s Factory harvested, a man who seem to be on a one word mission to bring down the glory of the former. Don’t agree? Recalled something called “Aag”?]

Drona had almost all the ingredients to become an entertaining movie [yes off course if you exclude Miss New knit Nishant and her over the top Punjabi ghetto; revamp the start point of the movie to create viewer’s interest and hope. And for God sake some meat to hero's role]. Alas the over confidence and too many mystic blue petals swamped the desert and made Drona such a “Drowny” affair.

The movie is visually inspired by many, but engrossing as none. A classic case of confused identity and screenplay, from promising to heady. IMHO, a true superhero movie should be more unique, imbibing and creatively stimulating.
[BTW, did I say “déjà vu to Da Vinci code”??!??]

Anyways, my little naughty niece who wants me to paint or play dandiya with her, is growing very impatient with my “Drona” bazi and threatening me to close it before she erases it all. And she is quite capable of doing it [apni mammy pe jo gayi hai; oops my cousin sis for uninitiated], I must quickly wrap it up with small postmortem on- Why Krish worked & Drona didn’t?

1. Krish had a very niche audience- Kids. And they targeted them well. So much that they sketched, presented and merchandized the movie to the alpha pups, all profitably.
Drona, must surely be targeted at the elderly [septuagenarians and above]. And how many of ‘em would go to watch movies at multiplexes? [In fact I asked one of my Nani if she would like to watch Drona and she said Nah! Lets go “Rock on” instead to watch good bahu Prachi Desai].

2. Unlike Drona, which got meddled up between “that age & this age & futuristic”, Krish had one consistent backdrop throughout the movie.

3. Krish’ hero was very contemporary, sweated all his breathtaking stunts himself and still kept the charm on. It’s atrocious to waste AB jr. in Drona.

4. Good, strategically placed music [read cash registers ringing from music rights, VAS business]

5. Alternate business of VAS, merchandizing etc a la spider man was well scoped as well tapped by Krish. Remember Krish mask et all? Now tell me which kid would like to wear the tika/sherwani kind of stuff our new superzero wore? Unless the movie is declared huge hit! Yeah, the sword could ve been fun but such toys are banned, you see.
6.Last but not the least. Superheroes don’t have bodyguards’ Puhleeze.

Inspired if you must, Pl go ahead and bring a DVD home. Use it for your HR psychometric tests on a 5 factor ranking scale. For instance-
Duration of movie watched [in minutes] v/s Patience levelLess than 20 minutes - Not so Bad
>=20 and <= 30 - Good
>=30 and <= 60 - Very good
>=60 and <= 90 - Excellent
>90 minutes - Genius

Synonyms: Draw-a-yawn-aah, Drone-a, Drown-a, Darao-na, Darawana [scary in Hindi], Dharo-na [idea in Bengali. PS: what an idea sirji]

BTW, If you liked the songs, you can download it as a caller tone on your Tata Indicom phone. SMS Keyword to 12800-
Opp Cha WT44929
Nanhe WT44931
Khushi WT44932
Bandagi WT44930
Drona Female WT44933
Drona Male WT44928
Oop Cha Fare Play Mix WT44934
Thats All Folks!!!
Numero trivia: What would you call if AAG produced by RGV & directed by Goldie Behl? - Aag and Gulab!! Voila PJ!!!

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write

5 comments:

  1. dats y Marketing gurus sud atleast avoid bollywood bunches....Nice swot analysis all d way!!!!

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  2. Heyyyy...thats a very fresh and a lovely blog after sometime...way to go girl!!!

    Look forward to your blogs...They are cool and creative :-)

    Voila, as you say!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Where do you derive energy from? How can u write soo much on a movie called Drown-a.. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lovely insights in the movie....and now this encourages me even more to watch drona to know whats so bad in it......I still have to see Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag......

    ReplyDelete
  5. The movie was truly boring...drag...i used this as sleeping pill in fact.. You are right- draw-yawn-aah and make you sleep too!!!

    ReplyDelete

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