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Brides Wanted

Wednesday, July 08, 2009 42 Comments

Ok let us not build around words and get right in to the subject matter. I have two eligible bachelors in my family, qualified to climb the “Ghodi” [Female horse] and don the “sehra” [headgear for grooms]. Well you would not have found a case as funny as this where a person is looking for bride for her brother as well for her nephew simultaneously. However, by now you would have understood my uncanny ability to do extraordinary things like this [Applause]. So let us move to talk about these two single and entitled to mingle brats.

Let us start from the safer bet, I mean from the person who is less likely to beat me after reading this blog entry. The bachelor no 1 is my elder brother, the first scion of Khetan family. From being a “once upon a time quite a sought after boy in school” to now a boy “in a land where barely any good-looking girl resides”, Amit has come long way in life. Off course, I am an exception in this land but we are talking about a bride for my brother and not the next “Lakme” face ok?
Ok so eligible bachelor no 1 is a nice, likeable guy who roams around the house in a ganji and shorts [only to irritate his wonderful younger sister]. Fine, he has inherited some dressing legacy of his younger sister but a bigger wardrobe than she does [sigh obvious case of revering son over girl child in Indian household]. Ok so my brother has bigger wardrobe, more no of hi-fi mobile, personal computer, gadgets, watches, gears etc than I do but that is irrelevant here and does not make me “woman of few means”. He is tech-savvy, protective, romantic, vegetarian, cannot cook for his life, zero in household work like cleaning, washing oops let us move to next guy.

Eligible bachelor no 2 is my nephew with a “Midas” touch. Biologically, he is older than I am but culturally am his “maasi” [maternal aunt]. Now he has very loving parents, sweet siblings, some pleasant relative; and an adorable aunt in me. And we all want to marry him off at earliest- after all God, why should we suffer all his bully alone? Jokes apart, he is a perfect TVC husband stuff- Fair complexioned, lean frame, committed wale looks and he wears specs too. By the way, do not go for that bully joke as he bullies only his sisters incl me. Yup with due respect to the biological factor here, I have a joint account in that category. Well he is quite protective and knows how to cook as well. He is great thinker and geometrician, a quality that he well exhibits in kitchen as well.

[PS: he is like Akshay kumar in “Kambakht Ishq” promos. Like him, he hates the wedding bells but unlike him, he thinks girls are “good for nothing”. So if any daredevil girl likes adventure sports, she will like him too]
Er, Ahem, rest other details will be given in person to the interested parties [along with pictures of Tom cruise and Dustin Hoffman]

Off course, the best thing about both of these eligible bachelors is [sighing] they are straight! Now that does make an interesting proposition in men’ world stunningly becoming a “men loving” society, however I still suggest that I do not have anything against the gross oops cross genders except for the fact that most of the guy I get fascinated with turns out to be a “gay”. Ae le! No controversies, please. [PS: All my dear Gay friends hope you will empathize with my concerns as this & pl restore normalcy].

Of Brides, economy and strategies

Coming back to brides for brothers and not giving recession a miss, we can consider packaged deal as well. I mean, get two in prospect of one, like two sisters, cousins, best friends et all and get them married under the sagacious notion of “one world, one nation, one marriage ceremony”. Before the scarcity of girls in society takes a toll on marriage and the projections of one girl marrying three boys hit the reality, let us get these two folks married to one girl each.
If you think I am getting quite repetitive with my female infanticide issue then consider this-

1. The world is not getting sick of doing this crime and you not getting well on the issue and fighting for it.
2. I am yet to marry and since the scarcity of bride hasn’t become a big problem as yet, I shall keep cribbing of being born so early and missing all that future excitement when guys will woo girls for marriage. [Not that they don’t woo now but think what wonders the theories of demand & supply can bring]
3. It is relevant to subject matter.
4. End of lecture; Let us get back to main topic.

What is my ulterior interest in all this? Well satisfaction is the key word. And celebration is another key word. Moreover, if these two keywords do not suffice then the third one is “machination”. Once my brother gets married, my mom could delegate her sonny responsibility on her “bahu” and can visit me frequently along with my dad. In addition, if my pa does not want to travel out especially to meet his daughter, who does not sleep late in night and keeps scribbling some stupid posts on her laptop, then he can stay at home and bask in glories of being pa-in-law.

There are several other perks apart from the usual notion of getting married. Like-
* Reduced pressure on me for my marriage at least temporarily. Good chance to ogle at some good-looking guys [if any] in these marriage functions.
* Younger brothers will have a clear path to get married soon. I, some respite from Anurag's usual yipping & yapping. Also, Madhur [younger bro of eligible bachelor no2] has bribed me a lot to help him steer clear road for him.
* The gariahat abode will have a pleasant femme factor to give susheela bai a company and I, another reason, lucrative one to visit there, while having someone to share my patience levels from his “Bhai-giris”.
* Marriage functions, celebrations party and apparently new dresses and if these guys get magnanimous enough- some jewelry.

The list of perquisite continues. Therefore, I invite applications from all young [age between 25-29 years], unmarried, well-educated, homely, caring girls. Only applications with original photos will be preferred. And if you have a dashing, well-educated and unmarried brother/ cousin that would be icing on the cake. There is early bird prize too, which I will tell you in person. So, hurry up before the offer gets close. Swaha!

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write


  1. Now its too much!
    Bharatmatrimony, simplymarry are failing stars(their CEOs may even die) in front of ur marriage proposal for ur bros on blogspot.

    They havn't thought about this concept of----
    Ek ke sath ek free....!

    hadd hai....

    But the way have written the qualities of ur bro must attract some proposals. And biggest thing is u have special package for early birds....

  2. hey! stumbled on ur blog!! and how glad i feel to have done so!!

    excellently put.. Ur advertisement can put any top matrimonial site to shame!! the offer of 1+1 is extra ordinary!! wait till u have a dharna infront of ur house from all those bechaare CEO's of those sites!!

    hilarious and kool :)


  3. Whoa, Whoa and more WHOAsss!!!!

    I thank MY stars and of course my parents for not giving me a sister like you.... U r almost ruining 2 lives there.....

    On a positive note (if I at all become a marrying kind; AWESOME MATRIMONIAL)...

    P.S. Take that with a pinch of salt n lemon; bole toh Tequilla.

  4. woah! that was a long post! :D

    but its quite endearing :-))

  5. @ Akash
    Thank you, thank you and many thank you. So, what do you think, should these sites replace me with their CEOs? Good idea right? 

    @ Rammy
    Thank god you stumbled here and bless the source from where u stumbled and keep walking here and not stumbling. I too am glad to see u here and will let u know if dharna like that happens. Cheers!!!

    @ Vee
    Tsch tsch…be sorry that you havn’t got an interesting and wonderful sister like me…I have written good qualities who nahi dikhi…khali joke wali qualities dikhi…selective vision…lolz!!!

    @ eye-in sty

  6. nice nice....... will take note....

  7. Ya they will found u soon, if u r going this way..........
    and will 4 sure replace u as a CEO or director of these matrimony sites.

  8. u hv dun a commendable portfolio for both the prospective grooms:)

    pardon me but I detect a streak of selfishness in this noble venture of urs...something on the lines of "apna raasta kholna" thingy:P

  9. Ahem Ahem... such a well groomed portfolio... doing any part time jobs eh? guess yu can open yur own profile writing website? will let yu know so yu can write mine when the time comes :) sweet write as usual ! :)

  10. good luck.....I am sad, i cant help you....... I am still employed and not yet trained in brokerpanti.........And what about Dowry?

    Hey, you a marwadi? There are millions of marwadi chicks ( pssssst...i personally knew few of them in my college, ohh boy, hot ones:)))and your brother wont have a problem.

    Nice post...:))))))))

  11. @ Sonu
    Thanks…but take note of what?

    @ Akash
    Touch wood. Muh mein ghee muh mein shakkar-tumhare!

    @ CN
    Thanks buddy!
    Mera liye toh rasta khula hi hai…inka raasta jam karna chahti hoon! Hahaa

    BTW, do something about your comment posting option..i cant post any comments thereL

  12. @ hary

    Thanks! eagerly waiting to write you a profile hary..ha haa...keep them coming too! :)

    @ Zillion zillie-billie
    Dowry? well no opinion on that. Yup i am where are those hot chocks? Keep them coming too!!! ha haaha

  13. hey u missed a chance..i mean ure brothers..! y din they apply for RAKHI KA SWAYAMVAR....
    they could have compete and fight among the 'most eligible bachelors'..+ media coverage + fame + a very 'beautiful' 'young' wife..!!
    Don't worry...i guess they still have gotta chance as a wildcard entry...apply ASAP..! or they can apply next year when new season of RKS starts..!lol

  14. hopped to your blog via agelessbonding.
    enjoyed reading your reflections and views.

  15. @ Rahul

    Phew! I thought you are a friend!!! And if RKS is a chance, then we don’t mind missing it!!! Lolz..

    Nothing against the unique lady but we prefer her on our television than as brides for these guys!!!

    And wild card entry??? Hmm Looks like you applying for wild card entry..All the best…lolz..

    @ Hemish
    Thanks 

  16. ya will let yu know when the time comes...hey am still not able to follow :( , it goes to a page not displayed..anyways i'll keep checkin yur blog! do check out mine! cya tak care

  17. @ Anju Gandhi

    Hi, Welcome here and and glad that you liked it. Do keep visiting and do post ur valuable comments.

    I remember seeing your name at shobhade' blogspot and even visited ur blogs...neat work!

    @ Hary

    Do you have any websense issue in office? If not...try again pl...i have 39 and waiting for the 40th :)
    Try to move ur cursor on the list...hope u get it this time :)

  18. lols....i m very young my friend... :-p. ...n how can I dare to apply when qualified bachelors like your bros are around me ??. :-p.

  19. That was endearing indeed!! The most imp thing when searching for a bro's wife is that her kundli shud be a perfect match with YOURS!! only then say yes!!

  20. very well written .Your blog seems very interesting first time in your blog

  21. Though I understand the sincerity of the post but tell me have ur bro's read this?? Specially the 2nd one :D

  22. @ Rahul
    Lols...Koi baat nahi...We can send your nominations for season 4..hhee hee...My bros are simpletons not cut for this...warna sabse pehle mein hi unko know for thrill sake. Am sure the 2nd wala would have troubled him like anything..lolz... :)

  23. @ Sujata
    Thanks...Will do...Shall i narrate u a funny incidence? Well there was a girl whose mom found my bro' profile and wanted to take it further...The first thing she ask was not see my bro or my parents but his kundali...Maje ki baat yeh hai...we didn't have one and gave her details..she tried thrice with 3 diff time as the birth time was not ascertain then, all 3 time on comp they shown same results...phew...whata biz this kundali biz is :)
    But will surely take the advice...

  24. @ Shilpa
    Thanks Shilpa...Nice to see you here...Most welcome and keep visiting:)

    BTW visited ur blogs too...neat job...From one khetan to other khaitan!!! :)

    @ Smita
    Welcome back!!And i guess the second one has not read it yet...warna bahut pitayi padti...Hee hee

  25. Matrimonial ads on blog :).
    Hope you succeed and if you do, we would see a lot of matriblogging and you shall be famous as the torch-bearer :).

  26. Nice blog. Thanks. Glad that these two gentlemen are straight. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. There is a saying here: All good looking men are either married or gay. One request. Please tell us later how many girls responded.

  27. This is the first blog that i ever read in my entire lifetime... The problem is i say what i think and m almost perfect at breaking junta's confidence. But....
    ...I liked this one!

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  29. OK..u wudnt know who inner voices is...its my secret identity :D. mona. i did not see it in the first place. i change my id to my email. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!! was sooo funny and sooo well written. ek teer se anek shikaar...aur aap behetee gangaa main haath bhi dho daalengee. not bad at all.

  30. @ Brown Phantom

    Thanks buddy…I am hoping against hope to succeed! And I loved the word u used- “matriblogging”.

    Welcome back to blogosphereJ

    @ SG
    Thanks SG, you have replicated my thoughts here. I too say the same reg the guys I meet- they are either married or gay…he he
    Would surely let u know if something good happens!

    @ Blogmaniac
    I am so glad that you liked it…welcome to my blogosphere…

    @ Inner voice
    Mona baby finally you made it to my blog and am equally glad that you liked it too!
    Aaate rahiyo

  31. Dunno how the comment thing is gettin u tell me wht does it say if u try n post a comment...coz a couple of others have also mentioned the same issue n yet others can post comments normally.

  32. hahaha.. me single too .. me want bride too.. forward some resumes to me too :) applications from guys will be rejected and trashed

  33. @ CN

    I guess you must change your comment template...that should work...That particular template has got some bugs as i have witnessed in other blogs too...use something like mine...

    @ Chriz
    Hee hee...sure will forward all bio datas...but pehle aaye toh sahi ;)

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  36. Ekta ji

    Lagta hain aapne matrimony site khol di hain. Pls mera bhi kuch intezaam karvaa dee jiye na


  37. @ Dphatsez

    Kyo nahi baalak...pehle apni padhai puri karo, kaam kaaj karna shuru karo....phir tumhari grihsthi basane ke liye kanya ko dhoondenge ;) :P

  38. AnonymousJuly 22, 2009

    hey u got nice blog running...

    hope both the guys get the gal they deserve.. :)


  39. @ Anonymous

    Thanks for visiting in. Will drop in your blog...keep visiting!

  40. First time jumped on your blog. Aaahh liked the first look of blog itself very much. Nice header actually :)I immediately subscribed to it.

    And what should i say about your this advertisement. Hilarious and package deal is awesome. Usually i am a person who don't read much other bloggers blog and sshuu away after reading 1 para max or 2. But your article made me read this whole thing and i was blushing more because even i am looking for one these days for me.

    But you're great. Simply great :)

  41. @Ankit

    Thanks Ankit, you completely flattered me! I too am lazy to read other's blog and these days lazy to write for self!!!! :D

    Thanks for blog rolling me. I believe you write reviews on products I am tuned in too!!!


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