My name is Khan

March 21, 2010 , 23 Comments

I am a Muslim and am not happy.

I am unhappy not because I am a Muslim. I am unhappy because my being “Muslim” is blown out of proportion, unnecessarily. I am unhappy, because “being Muslim” is a misused term, abused by people all around, non-Muslims and unfortunately, Muslims too. I have become a decoy to some people like politicians, fundamentalists and many others for achieving their machinations. I am being exploited. Exploited and shockingly more often by my own folks. However, exploitation is a small word in the context.

When I was born, I was alike to all Rams or Rogers born in that ward. We all wailed and kicked our way to world. Mothers gave birth to us but fundamentalism raised us. We all survive on our mother’s care and milk. Then why did rioters killed little Raghav’s mother, who was still unborn? We came to this earth nude, nothing but with our souls, but when we leave, we have everything but our soul. Then why do you add color to the cover and symbol to the soul? I am unhappy because of “You”.

When I just started sketching some colorful flowers and valleys in my sketchbook, why did you draw line and borders on it. You spoiled my beautiful picture by separating flower from valley and writing India and Pakistan names on it. Would not a flower be a flower irrespective of the valley it grows in? Would you ask a flower’s name, caste or religion before adorning it on Allah or Prabhu?

I wanted to go to school [swat valley] but you sent me to a camp. You gave a gun in my hand and a veil to my sister. Sometime innocent girls like her had to hide her face while all ugly beast around roam without any hizab?

Years passed and your discriminations become stronger. I became Sunni, Sian or Bohra; Kareem, Abdul or Mohammed but not a human. Religion is about nurturing goodwill and mitigating conflicts, but you are doing just opposite. I do not have any problem with any religion or their god. Humankind has happily coexisted even before someone segregated us into Hindu or Muslim. Distribution, as I thought was to bring the cultural diversity and add more colors to life. Unfortunately, that color is now devoid with festivity but only blood stains of innocents. When I have grown up, I liked this lovely girl and wanted to marry her. You said why her name is Radha and not ruksana? How does that make any difference to our life, happiness together, the children we have or name of God? What has religion to do with love or my being a good son to do with my choice of girl? Would she be a better human being if she were a Khan, Rehman or Ali or I a Pandit, Sharma or Kapoor?

I was told that western world is more open and approachable. One of you objected me from going there, with a tag that we are too moderate, too western, beat me up? Another one of you objected my livelihood, with a sneer and suspicion, beat my spirits up. When I go out of the country, why am labeled as fanatic because I have Pakistani name?

Terrorism has no religion, than why they call me a terrorist. ‘A’ for apple is just one interpretation of many and not a universal truth. Then why are you teaching the world “M” for “Muslim” and “Muslim” for “terrorism”? Why you have different treatment for your own citizens who create biggest frauds, manipulations, massacre in world, and still roam around loose? Your negligence is not accounted when you bring the world economy down but yours flourishing through some business even if it is ammunition.

The place you call as Hindu majority is the safest place for me in the world. There is no guarantee that I may not be killed in any nation that I may call as my own? One 9/11 and one of you out casted my entire clan. Where does this patriotism go when you support certain groups with ammunitions? Where does that empathy go when your political missions kills my innocent people?

Why blame others when some of my own people have butchered our pious religion in the name of war and hatred. There is more to love for God than beard, pajama or the appearance. I find my solace in prayers without being fanatic. I find pleasure in music and you cannot call me kaafir. To me, Azan is music, a song that I sing in praise of Allah. My Allah is not the property of you jingoists. No thanks for misinterpretations, I have Koran and can read it my own. Will you Pl stop corrupting my mind in the name of religion and jihad? Will you cease off my children and women as well?

My woman is a Muslim too. Why do you treat her differently? She is Allah’s creation and the next creator after him. Which religion teaches you to call your sister, companion, mother, daughter or a women “haraam”?

My religion, my culture is very pure and pl do not stain it with blood of innocent lives, wishes and dreams. I am very proud of my Id, namaaz and Prophet. But none of it asks me to not rejoice in other fellow’s happiness or respect someone else’ God. I was taught about the ‘oneness” of the God. So, why do you make such a furor if I bow my head in front of any non-Muslim shrine or when I celebrate a festival other than mine?

In troubled times, human always tend to resort to god as their last hope. Similarly, in today’s time, we human are constantly using it as our tool. God’s name is the resort for all problems but in today’s time why are you making it an excuse for all problems. Why? Why do you in name of god, curse the god with your petty motives?

It was mere another name for types of caste for me. Years later, it became an icon of its sort. When you demolish babri masjid, create Gothra massacre, you kill human first and then the religion.

Discrimination happens to everyone, whether it is woman, disabled, dalits or anyone. Is this a disability of any sort? If you have to discriminate, then do it for the “religiously challenged” ones, people who use religion as a mean to their motives and exploit. Pl do not manipulate my wonderful religion for your personal gains. Pl do not kill us in the name of god. Stop misleading me in the name of Islam. Stop venerating brutality in name of religion.

II am not happy, because of “You”. Its “you” who makes me, and "us", so unhappy.
PS: I have written this post long time back last year but could not post. Trust it doesn not reflect its antic-ness :)

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write


  1. Anonymous22 March

    Its a beautiful line u mentioned we come along wid our Soul but leave this world with everything besides our soul.. AN ur so rite buts its not about just one might be the most active and highligted one but guess this is happening every where .The divide on colour the divide on caste sub caste the divide on rich and poor..Guess like i say Satan has found a powerful weapon in creating the divide.. We ourselves and our uncertainites..

  2. If we dont like the way Hussain Painted Hindu Goddess, we can protest through our alternative art work, Columns (Like you have protested), Associations, meetings. But who gave us right to ransack his house? Throughout his life, whenever MFH got accolades for his paintings in international area, it was India's pride, not of just a community. Now, why we detached ourselves tagging him as a muslim who is hurting hindu sentiments? Is is sense?

  3. For you: Hey Blogger buddy...Another excellent blog. You made the boring, much spoken topic live again. Rejuvenated it.

    For your post: Human means selfish creature...we may not be selfish for certain things..but for other things we are...This is the thing which makes us blind...and we all forget LOVE.

    What i think is that human being cannot live without we create pain in our life and survives.....IRONY of LIFE.

  4. It is a very touching post, very real, very true.
    I have my take on this. If the situation is what it is , I would blame only the political class(world over).
    There are good and bad in every society but using religion has been the most favourite past time.

  5. @ Anonymous:
    Thanks for writing in. Agree that it is not religion specific but since a lot is being said, understood about the same hence the write up. As a writer, I need to understand a subject matter before writing. Hence the bit. :)

  6. @ Debrata:
    I agree totally on Hussain. Violence as a mean of protest is never acceptable and I heartily condems it. I agree that MF Hussain' current paintinmg hurt hindu sentiments but the way they treated the subject matter, its not acceptable.

  7. @Akash
    Thanks a ton buddy, it was so lovely. Take care and keep writing :) :)

  8. @ BKC ji
    Thanks for writing in. I too totally agree with you that religion is the big agenda on which political parties bake their breads and raisins and rums!

  9. Super. Very touching and thought provoking post.

  10. Wonderful post Ekta... superbly written and I like this one...

    Religions are created to bring in more harmony and to spread love to people but it has been used by people to create hatred... too bad :( :(

  11. I can't join the bandwagon of all the soft spoken people amongst your readers. Truth is that we are scared of telling truth and you did it beautifully. I am surprised why Muslims didn't raise their voice against MFH while he was mutilating one's godess. If they are so concerned about their own deity they should also learn to respect other's deities. Moreover this would have been a nice gesture on their part and would have created more harmony. Why does all the responsibility lies with Hindus or is it that they like to take high moral grounds as they can't do more than that?

  12. A post which deserves to be the at the front page of a newspaper! Kudos to you! :)

  13. @Kanagu

    thanks a ton buddy. keep visiting. religion has become the most vulnerable of all.

  14. @ Mayank
    Thanks buddy. Like you, others have their own opinion. It wont be right to say them wrong though. However, i agree with ur stmt but its highly unlikeable to happen. Gone r the days when there used to be such unity. These days unity has a broken limb and trust.

    BTW, a lot hindus have supported MF Hussain. To each of is own! :)

  15. @ Aditya

    Thanks a ton buddy. You just made my day :)

    I wish if any newspaper or journal can print this.

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  17. Anonymous26 March

    Please add the name of ur Chief Editor alongwith every post u publish here !! :P

  18. @ Anonymous
    Hey i wish I had a chief editor. sigh.. BTW anonymous comments r naught allowed :)

  19. lovely piece of work, infact much better than my name is khan - the film!! lovely lovely header resemble nandita das so much!!

  20. @ Sujata
    Thanks buddy. So many compliments in one, makes my smile broader :)

    Keep visiting!

  21. Amazingly written....writing seems to be an inherited talent in U...after reading your posts,I cant disjoin U and writing anymore....true 'Ekta' I must say!

  22. @ Nishad

    Thank u sooo much buddy. So much of appreciation. Hope I can live up to the mark! :)


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