Film Review: Sajid Khan's 'Himmatwala' is one of the Worst Remake ever

Birdman Radika Patkar

Sajid Khan the greatest film-maker of all time had come with another ace on his sleeveless shirt- Himmatwala, a remake of a super-hit 1980 movie starring white jumping jack- Jeetendra & Buxom beauty from South turning an all-time legendary Bollywood actress- Sridevi. Also starring Cute looking bad guy Amjad Khan and the father of all crass yet entertaining comedy- Kadar Khan.

Do not blame the chubby critic turned director brother of choreographer Farah Khan as he made some of the disastrous films made by his sister (Tees Maar Khan) and brother-in-law Shirish "Joker Famed" Kunder look better in front of this super debacle called Himmatwala. While the sister and hubby resorted to Akshay Kumar to salvage their poor script, bad screenplay and mindless, entertainmentless movies like Tees Maar Khan and Joker, Apna cutie Sajid signed Ajay Devgan for this headache called Hee he Himmatwala.

After all, a family that spins crap together, stick together. While I still wonder why SRK was so upset with his long-term friend Farah Khan for not making her last movie with him? He should be actually happy that she like a true friend of his didn't bring a movie like that to his Bad-shah name and rather screwed his rival- Akshay Kumar's market with this. Why are we talking about Tees Maar Khan here? Oops sorry Sajid, this post is meant to revel in the masterpiece that you boastfully created after skilfully judging the contestants of Nach Baliye season 5 and ripping apart all those movies with your sharp & witty reviews on "Ikke pe Ikka" on Zee Cinema (one movie channel which has more ad playing in an hour than a cumulative, about decade back. We loved you so much even in that small role in "Jhooth Bole kauwa kaate" (such a respite from Anil overdoing Kapoor). I even help-ed your Hey Baby and Houseful in the hope that one day you will perfect the art of making Indian versions of romcom movies like "Meet the Parents" etc and make a movie as good as your fine wit or in the tune of memorable works of my old time favourites- Honey Irani & Daisy Irani (I still adore them). This movie is such a letdown. Maybe RGV should sign you for the next movie- "Sajid Tune Kya Kiya".  The less I talk about this movie is more actually. Maybe let the actors of this movie talk about the film which was supposed to be a tribute to 80s but turned out to be a spoof of a spoof. How? Go figure.

Here's the review of the movie, in pictures. Let's start with the Introduction of the main cast and characters...

Meet me, I am Sajid's intraport to Bollywood, a rediscovery from South- Tammana Bhatia. Does that name ring a bell? Off course, I was the famous Miss infamously is-caught in that cricket betting scandal where I had little to do except having the same name as the real fraudster oops damsel.  Thanks to it some people started knowing me by my face rather than just my belly button which I have amply flaunted in these 4 scenes, 2 songs touted to be Rs 200 cr club movie. Anyway, I am here to entertain. By that I mean, have a look at all visible parts of my body and get Paisa Vassol (value for money) you first few row rowdy crowds and you, middle row maniacs and you last row cootchie cooing birds. Sajid being such an intelligent guy, knowing the potential of his movie, aptly cast me in this perfect role of a bimbo. So, I am Rekha, a spoiled brat of a cruel land mafia in a distant village who hates the word "Garib" (poor) but still does not do anything about it. I am a bimbo you see. I wear skin-flaunting clothes on an Indian railway and travel a whole village in them only to fall in love with a contrast hero sooner than later in this movie after he respectfully hits on my bum and entices everyone in the crowded palatial house of a poor driver to do the same. Aww, I helped Sajid to think of a better screenplay even when the story of a movie was served ionhis platter given the 30 years he got to imperfect the art. More on me, later on, this picture review (Ah! Let me show what I got baby). If you are wondering why I was introduced before AJ, well haven't you seen SRK endorsing "heroine first" in his latest tea ad. 


Hello, cine-goers of stupid mindless Indian comedy. You probably by now would have known me. I am "The Ajay Devgan", the new "Akshay Kumar" of mindless, dumber comedies. Wait! I am the original and in fact, Akki copied me while I gave some sensible movies in between too. Yes Rascal, no Golmaal. Tee hee. I play the ideal character of Ravi in this movie who has a widowed mother, a single, unmarried sister and a tragic past waiting to be avenged back at home. I am a skilled fighter who can beat the bulkiest to dust, arm wrestle with ferocious tigers, fight with an army of strong goons and play ABCD with the cruel villain at his place, eating his biryani courtesy bought in by a poor villager who sold his wifey's mangalsutra to buy it while avenging him for father's death and family agony. I can fight, dance (somehow), do comedy, emote and charge crores from directors/ producers who waste my otherwise talent on such B-grade remakes.

Yay Yay! Daddy got me a song in this movie. You all know me. I am Sonakshi Sinha, a carbon copy of my father's much talked about co-actress Reena "Sheesha ho ya dil ho" Roy. No Controversies. Coming back to the movie, it is an "author-backed" item song. If you think it's one of those shorter than skirt kind of appearance think again for probably you are right. But maybe you are not. For I wear larger than thy dresses in the movie to prove the theory wrong. Notwithstanding the potential that I carry on my face, I am reduced to just a song in this movie and that too in the opening sequence.  (Now people have one more reason to come late for the show). The author of this blog is kind of like me for being myself, not trying to kill myself by dieting in an attempt to look like a thread on screen. She also thinks that given my lineage (not to forget am the daughter of one of her favourite actors onscreen), I could do a lot better. Anyway, don't be surprised if you do not see me in a movie or figuring why I was there in the first place, just sing- Thank God it's Friday! How original. 



Meet Zareena Wahab, actress and newfound "abla bechari" mother of Bollywood. Sajid told me I could make a quick buck in this movie by doing a few things only- wearing a white sari with a wig and doing regular tear-shedding acts of mine all while looking tormented, trodden and yet ideal. Oh, I loved to play such a role to the hilt and when they told me that Adhyayan Suman, ex of Kangana who is the ex of my ex-husband Aditya Pancholi ke peeche kya hai, is also starring in this movie, all my emotions came naturally. So I stayed as an outcast in a village with my young and beautiful daughter and made our living by sewing clothes for debt-ridden villagers who refused to give us grains to eat, all in reverence of the ferocious head of the village who got my husband stoned to death by alleging him in a false case of stealing jewellery of the Goddess. Bo,o Hoo...they burned our house so much that I had to plea my little son to flee while my little daughter and I suffered in silence. Yeh Aag kab boojhegi!


Whoa! I just got a mention here. I am Adhyayan Suman, son of Shekhar movers and shakers Suman. Unfortunately, my solo hero debut didn't turn out as well and a certain Mr. Emraan Hasmi stole all the thunder from me in my last release Raaz 2, I am happy to play the role of an obedient son Shakti Kapoor played in the original. So, I a playing this young guy who for once for no known reason was seen madly in love with the sister of the hero and again for no specific reason seen torturing her post-marriage, all in well well-rehealed dialogue delivery session (another for no reason). You didn't get me? Well, I too. Never mind, when the entire movie is baseless nonsense, how would my side role make any sense. Do you see a point here? So, finally,somebody took me in their film (after everyone was busy to launch and promoting children of the top read richest film stars). Acting in this movie came easily to me.  How much I wished that Ms. Wahab playedthee the role of my onscreen wife's mother, ifMr. Pancholi had played the role of my father, it would be a sorta family reunion film. Bliss, we could have had Kangana in the same role as Leena Jumani (who is she? read below) and torturing her would have become easier for both the father and son that we played in this movie. I am such an ex-factor in this movie. Aaaow!

Awww thanks for mentioning me too here. Nothing like getting some recognition for newbies like us, it helps us get more work and why not. I am Leena Jumani. Leena who? Now if you have ever watched TV, you would know who. I have a small space here. So coming to the point, I play the quintessential sister of a masala movie hero, who is so vulnerable to getting raped by villains. Thankfully, Sajid had to give a message in this movie (however mindless it came across as. Wish they would have done something serious rather) so I was spared only to be tortured by my onscreen husband who is the son of the guy who killed my father, tried to burn us alive in our own house and got us banished from village to perish. Still, I love him more than my co-struggling mother. But Sajid does what Sajid does. He has to show mindless screenplay calling it 80's ka era, so be it. Nevertheless, I think this movie should be rather called- Himmatwali!

I need no introduction and after this film, I need to be hidden in a closet for being a bad remake of the father of 80's comedy- Kadar Khan in this shit called entertainment. I am beyond my barrister-like wigs and instead of being the saving Ryan that I am in most Hindi movies that I act in, I have become a "shaving cotton stuffed in your nostrils" in this shame of remake and shame of a great role replayed. I play the stupid yes man of the village landlord who gets his only son married to a poor girl and extort money from the landlord. Oh! Don't you think that I just mindlessly tried to ape Kadar Khan, I also brought my own innovations like ugly gay jokes. 


I am Kadar Kha, the original actor who played the role in the original Himmatwala. Whatever happened to me after watching this movie, is a mystery.





Meet us, we are the five regional superstars who are given a two-piece, two-minute item song in this movie. Which song? Errr Sheela ki jawani...nooo....munni badnam...eeks no.....forget it as many viewers including the music director too have forgotten this song after creating it. We were signed to substitute the poor expression skills of the film's main lead. We tried our bit but even we couldn't help this Chinese Titanic from sinking. Blame it on poor music and choreography!



Aye...I am the cruel landlord who plays Mahesh Majrekar in this film. Confused? It is not an error of transposition but a newfound error of "disposition" that will cause the firm to produce a lot of accounting loss and deficit in the balance sheet. After a poor story, I mean poor execution of making a remake and wasting talents in this film, Sajid went to judge a dance show. With all the intelligence & common sense that he used in the dance show if 1/3 of it was used in this movie, people would have watched it. I play a comedian evil villain in this movie, who looks like a perfect cast and perfectly wasted as well. Tell you something new. Well, that is the reason I chose to talk at the end. Now up to you Sajid.


Hel,l I am not Farah Khan, I look similar oh no she looks like oh no I look, whatever...I am Sajid khan the director of this debacle. I made this movie for the welfare of Indian women who after watching this movie will cry and clap and oops slap too...such is the magic of a slapstick movie. I know the potential of my crass oops mass entertainers and hence do not want a critic's rating and not even half star. Yes, I called it mass entertainers as the movies that I make are watched by a combined masses of me, my sister Farah Khan, her husband Shirish Kunder and their little children and of course the stars of my movies. Now you know why I make only multi-starrers? This movie has a tribute to them and I said so "Kyonki kehne mein kya harz hai?" (What's the harm in saying)

....That's all folks! We rest this long pending post here with cast and character introductions. Spelling/ Grammer mistakes- pl oversee as my Internet at Jharkhand is in short supply and man it is damn hot here! In the next post, shall bring a synopsis of the movie in pictures to compensate for all the "bol bachchan" (long verse) here. Stay tuned & do follow Numerounity@ Facebook!




Comments

  1. Hahaha :D
    Finally a remake to give a tough competition to Ram Gopal Varma's Aag in order to hold the honor of Worst Remake ever.

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  2. haaaa..... very nice review. you saved my time.

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  3. Good review on the front runners of worst remake ever.But i think Aag will win this competition .

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  4. Anonymous09 May

    anyways ,.. i did not like Himmat Wala the one Taki Taki crap .. nor i had any reasons to watch the remake crap :D let Sajjid Enjoy his movie with Jumping Jack !! But thanks for the funny review ! :)

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  5. One of the best critical review of Himmatwala i came across recently :) still laughing!

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  6. hahahah! loved every bit! very funny review indeed :)

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  7. Very well said. Thank God I didn't watch the movie yet.

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  8. this is worse but don't forget RGV'S Aag remake of sholay to which AB admits as his mistake,you reviewed it very late but its very good

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  9. hahahaha :D wonderful review :D

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  10. A nice entertaining review compared to the film! :)

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  11. :) Good review.. you saved my time, I will spend that in reading more posts of yours :)

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  12. Heh heh heh...Hilarious review Ekta :D, although I'm sorry you wasted your time watching this movie in the first place but then we get to read such an entertaining review.

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  13. Anonymous11 May

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  14. Very good review.This was expected from Sajid Khan. On the show you mentioned he used to make fun of many directors by calling them copycats of Hollywood movies. When he became the Director(unfortunately that is..) the he ripped off the scenes from movies like Heartbreak Kid and Three Men and the Baby.So like a big hypocrite he did the same things which he used to be so critical about in his show. Actually he has superiority complex and also he is quite immature(him sending stupid letters to Vidhu Vinod Chopra is perfect example), hence he must have thought that audience are dumb and they will appreciate his childish movie like Himmatwala. This movie is really an insult to intelligence,as bad as it can get.

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  15. I know Ive been here before ( I remember the blog header pic) but after reading this post, im adding u to my blogroll for sure :D Exactly mirrored my sentiments on 'this horror of a comedy'

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  17. haha thoroughly enjoyed the review. U had the guts to watch this movie and then bravely vent it out on your blog! Too good Ekta

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