Mera TV Nahi Lagta - MTNL

August 01, 2015 2 Comments

Come Monsoon and the entire city of Mumbai sings a song. Too many to their credit actually. From the poor infrastructure to lack of proper transportation service to what not.

The rain clad streets make it technically difficult to drive out and the heavy traffic and stinking theaters make you cringe in your dainty sofa at your daintily painted house that sweats at the very prospect of rains. “Iss wall mein Jaan hai” probably that what you may feel.

Given the mess and marsh of monsoon, many of us prefer staying indoor, crouched to our sofas and hooked to our TV screens. A perfect season to become couch potatoes when you can enjoy your bhajiya and chai in the comfort of your home. Time to catch up on those many lost episodes on TV, Sound-proof news anchor’s bickering and a constant need wherein India wants to know why is justice raped, only from the mouth of rapists.

Yes, India wants to know. Probably, what India wants to know is – why “Mera Telephone, TV kyu nahi lagta” in the monsoon?

Yes, come monsoon and our television screen turns teleprompter with a singular dialogue broadcasting. Come Monsoon and you will see more people than the clothes hanging from balcony or windows in a bid to search the invisible signal Gods in the atmosphere, which are conspicuous by their absence.


Local Cable, where art thou, dost?
While you see the leading Khans in Bollywood to wear their selling hats and sell different DTH products, all of the best possible technology from best picture quality to the best recorder. Little did any of them tell you that their DTH connection works in Monsoon, in particularly Mumbai Monsoon? I recall, when earlier this month, me and husband were contemplating about which DTH to buy, having a DTH with a decent stability in monsoon was probably one of the ‘very limited consensus that we reached apart from taking the data connection from a service provider that won’t suck our blood in name of High-Speed Internet [HSIA] read heavy subscription fee, low network, even below low problem resolution management and everything except what a customer need. Net neutrality anyone?

In such scenario, we sordid miss the good old cable TV days when the local operator would not just provide us a stable range of almost all the channels but also, the luxury of new release movies and actually “just a call away” customer service as well. Cost? As compared to what these supposedly “high on technology, low on customer delivery” companies charge from their subscribers.

DTH AKA Definite TV Harrassment Earlier this month when a friend of mine happily boasted that how she had successfully incorporated “no TV day” at her home recently, I couldn’t help but smirk. I told her to visit me in Mumbai and we can show how the “couch potatoes” like us actually have “NO TV season” entire season. She was quip to respond that probably my DTH provider did not have XYZ quality like hers and how should I change my house to a society that allows “any DTH provide” except brand and price restriction.
One TV and so many pokey noses
She had a point but tell me, dude, when have you changed your house just cause your vivacious [read vicious] society does not allow you to continue with a certain DTH brand that you have invested your money for what is conveniently called CPE- Customer Price Equipment. It is not just TV but even your telecom connection, milkman, aayabai, driver and all that to be determined by your society irrespective of value they offer and cost you suffer.

To think of it, if this can happen in a city like Mumbai [ear after year], imagine the woes of small town and cities? Besides, the city’s shitty infrastructure ensures enough that you spend the last hour at your home, forget TV and more time, romancing it pot-holes.

Mera Telecom Nahi Lagta
Pointless to say, when you are in Mumbai, you should be either celebrity or politician to enjoy your daily dose o the idiot box. For anyone or everyone else, the companies won’t listen and the societies won’t understand. You might as well use that time to build a better hobby for self. After all, what if you missed watching TV for entire one oops 3 months? Indian TV show will stay where they were and Pakistani channel would have completed 3-4 shows that you can always watch on YouTube or wait for them to get re-cycled back at post noon slots. After all, in this country, the progression, is seen only in crime, corruption and centennial episodes of regressive TV shows. Technology is that Glam advertisement which has Farah Fawcett’s picture in poster of a Rakhi Sawant movie. The latter may entertain you occasionally, for rest others no comment as Mera Television Nahi Lagta!

So Holla Mumbai, Monsoon is back.

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write


  1. Anonymous24 July

    The post is so enjoyable and gives a feel of Monsoon in Amchi Mumbai. Love it:)

  2. Hi Vishal, Amchi Mumbai sounds funny to me..


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