Follow by Email

Mr. Ramalingam Raju & Popular work of fiction

Sunday, January 11, 2009 2 Comments


This year’ Bookers got bigger, Bigger by 7000 crore. The ilk of Arundhati Roy, McEwan, Adiga, Rushdie and Martel has a tough competition, esp. in the best fiction category. ‘Satyam financials’ an epic in Indian Corporate world authored by Mr. Ramalingam Raju and co authored by PWC, beats competition hands down. Wait, whether it’s for Best Fiction category or Best Cookery book…that is for you to decide.

While you figure that, here’ an interesting read on “How some popular works of Fiction would probably begin if authored by Raju [Satyam] and his crooked gang

Disclaimer: I have flicked this interesting stuff from Internet, originally posted by someone called Mr. Sukumar Ranganathan. [http://blogs.livemint.com/members/Sukumar-Ranganathan.aspx].

Thought it would make an interesting read for all.

The original lines are given below the book name followed by creative version

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
(As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect.)
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams about stock market regulators he found himself transformed in his bed into that rare thing -- a clean balance sheet.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
(It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.)
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a company in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a smart auditor.
Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott
("Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.)
A balance sheet won't be a balance sheet without any cash," grumbled Vadlamani, lying.
I, Robot by Issac Asimov
(I looked at my notes and I didn't like them. I'd spent three days at U.S. Robots and might as well have spent them at home with the Encyclopedia Tellurica.)
I looked at my audit notes and I didn't like them. I'd spent three days going through the books of XXXXXXX and might as well have spent them at home with my PSP
The Exorcist, by William Peter Blatty
(Like the brief doomed flare of exploding suns that registers dimly on blind men's eyes, the beginning of the horror passed almost unnoticed; in the shriek of what followed, in fact, was forgotten and perhaps not connected to the horror at all.)
Like the brief doomed flare of exploding suns that registers dimly on men's eyes, the beginning of the horror passed unnoticed; in the wake of what followed, in fact, was forgotten and perhaps not connected to the events at all.
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
(It was a pleasure to burn.)
It was a pleasure to fudge
The Personal History of David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
(Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show)
Whether I shall turn out to be the villain of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, this letter must show.
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
(Last night I dreamt I went to Manderly again.)
Last night I dreamt we were profitable again
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
(I am an invisible man.)
I run an invisible business

Goldfinger by Ian Fleming
(James Bond, with two double bourbons inside him, sat back in the final departure lounge of Miami Airport and thought about life and death.)
Ramalinga Raju, with a good Andhra meal inside him, sat back in the final departure lounge of Dubai airport and thought about profit and loss.

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
(The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home.)
The auditor had been working very hard all morning, window-dressing his book of accounts.

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
(He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf stream and he had gone 84 days now without taking a fish. )
It was an old company that operated alone in the fast lane and it had gone six quarters without making a profit.

The Honorable Schoolboy
(Afterwards, in the dusty little corners where London's secret servants drink together, there was argument about where the Dolphin case history should really begin.)
Afterwards, in the dusty little corners where Mumbai's auditors drink together, there was argument about where the Satyam case history should really begin

The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper
(Chug, chug, chug. Puff, puff, puff. Ding-dong, ding-dong)
Borrow, borrow, borrow. Siphon, siphon, siphon. Sob-sob, sob-sob

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write

2 comments:

  1. I luvd d one on Fahenheit and the wind in the willows.

    ReplyDelete

Hi Folks,

You heard me...now its time for Bouquets and Brickbats!

My Social Media Channels