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The Multi-Personality Disorder venture named- Heroine (Movie Review)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012 30 Comments



Caste: Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Randeep Hooda, Divya Dutta, Helen, Cigarattes & Liquor.

Director: Madhur Bhandarkar; Story: Stardust Magazine (back issues)

Screenplay: Fashion, Gia

Genre: Drama                     






Heroine is  a papier-mâché misadventure that has nothing great to offer except the actress with super screen presence and performance- Kareena Kapoor


Scene 1: The pretty actress is thrown out of a vehicle. She poignantly sits in her car and moves to police station in all tears, crestfallen and speechless. Before humble Mumbai Police could ask her about the complain, her secretary rescues her out. In case you were wondering "underworld threat"...watch on.

Scene 2: Heroine attends a party in spite of her married boy friend's wishes (who conveniently wanted her to come after his gold digger wifey leaves) and pour wine on the bitchy Mrs. Déjà vu?

Scene 3: Heroine after a steamy session with her Yuvraj Singh alike cricketer boyfriend, asks him to recommend her name for an ambitious venture to his moohboli sister who incidentally is trophy wife of the lecherous producer/ actor, giving her fading career ka hawala. She conveniently munches the dialogue- No problem, if my career ruins, I will team up with a businessmen and buy an IPL team. Believe me or not the statement does the trick and hey presto next scene he is in successfully recommending his new starlit GF.

Scene 4: Heroine joins a political bandwagon sans red tika but symbolic shirt, with a broom in hand to bring- clean Mumbai, green Mumbai drive, only to manipulate a favor from the reigning party leader to get the real birth date of a rival actress exposed through her fake passport scandal.

Scene 5: Heroine in the feign end of her so called “always fading” career, with no movies in hand, vanished assignments, denied child adoption, stalled much awaited arty film and much more, gets so desperate that she circulates her wild MMS with superstar male colleague to get her small budget, sidey movie hit, while she goes in self imposed smoke & liquor filled hibernation for few days (and painfully long movie slot). Her "holier than thou" boyfriend, sheds a tear and deletes her name from his phone contact list signaling a post interval end of their “never made a sense” relationship.

Still did not have a hang of it? Then….

Scene 6: Heroine’s secretary goes on PR visit to a notable producer and heroine ex co actor (a blink eye close take off of Akshay Khiladi Kumar) with whom she had given couple of hits in past, for a casting in upcoming film to which the producer/ director cheesingly rejects by saying- her career is over. She may try & get in some reality show or marry an NRI businessman!!!

Déjà vu anyone?

The film is full of such clichés and déjà vu narrations start to end. Apparently, Madhur Bhandarkar, still soaked in his “Fashion” fame fatale, after having watched “The Dirty Picture” thought of clipping together his leftover screenplay from Fashion and making another “set” “themed” movie and named it- Heroine.

The film has nothing new to offer. The story line is erratic and the screenplay is even more moody and unpredictable than her lead protagonist in the film. Mugdha Godse doesn’t graduates from her “fashion” character. Divya Dutta as a sang-froid, shark PR pulled this one off as all her other roles brilliantly. Helen is incomparable and has a screen presence still untouched, unmatched. Govind Namdeo as secretary works well even in his limited frames. Sahana Goswami as “You may caste my assets for film but I am not a lesbian” Bengali actress looks convincing, Ranbeer Shorey, widely known for his funny roles is a misfit as an irritable, rigid, erratic Bengali- national award winning director. Sanjay Suri pulled off his stint as Aamir/ SRK-esque role of "you like drinking wine, oh then sleep with me or else I will chop your role off" act well. Arjun Rampal apart from looking good acted well (better than a lot of his films) and Randeep Hooda is  same gibberish, wasted (nothing new).The films’ trump card and the only reason that makes this movie watchable or work is- Kareena Kapoor.

Heroine is a story of a star who wants to be an actress- Mahie Arora and her misadventure with love, life and career. She has been lazily penned as girl from a broken family having a bipolar syndrome, another disease in form of a commitment phobic boyfriend and personality trait which may have even surprised her. It’s a story of her rise and fall to stardom, a story told in a very non convincing, jarring & meaningless melodramatic screenplay. Her character is nothing but a melee of Kangana meets Priyanka meets the sober miss Zinta who meets ravishing Raveena with leggy Deepika Padukone. Madhur’s not so sweet leftover of these entire beautiful actresses to an insipid tale of Mahie Arora renders the movie nothing but a big disappointment.

Mahie’s life is sidled by her Delhi based “we do not do compatibility but can smoke & drink together” caring, socialite mother played charming lillete Dubey who has been (sic) wasted again in a pygmy role. Wonder what happens to the age old tale of Heroines bringing mommy dears to shoot & everywhere? The duo however manage to come up with two highly “seetimaaro” (whistle generating) dialogues in the movie-
 
Kyunki tum meri ma nahi mein tumhari maa hoon
“Tumhare liye bees mein kar rahi hoon, bahar tees leti hoon”
Cheesy? but the crowd loved it.

Affairs galore, the second person in her life is apparently her third boy friend “married but available” who is “superstar with a gold digger wife and see a cute son too” who to please his estranged “add more in my alimony” wife throws his devoted girl friend of year outside his car. He does so only to have another 2 failed relations and return back to Mahi post a wedding dance ceremony sort of encounter.

Then there but off course is her cricketer boy friend, soberly played by Randeep Hooda who falls head over heels in her strategy and love and does everything that her past boy friend did not do for her to woo her. He lands up in her bed and holidays abroad but fails to slip his love ring in her finger and leaves grimly and grumbling to be never seen again in this movie.

Then there is Helen who portrayed a character of a yesteryear’s star who is now reduced to doing small time roles in films. She effortlessly essays the role wherein despite being awarded for a lifetime achievement she lives and dies in oblivion.

And yes. There are not one but two item nos to up the ante with masses and wannabe babes (who may just love the babe-licious salutations at almost all the bitchy shots of the movie). While Halkat Jawani may strike a chord or two at B centers and all; wherein Main Heroine hoon is absolute tacky & jarring!

And then there is lot of booze, smoke, trans sexual reference and explicit scenes that conveniently frames the Hollywood ishtyle life portrayal of a heroine. The movie deploys usual decoys from stars attending public wedding to casting couch to their art cinema fetish to endorsement spree and what not. However rarely any unique situation or scene that may make you sew to the movie other than Kareena’s scintillating performance. Poor thing for she may have thought if nothing else she could bag a national award like other actresses from his set stables but Alas, Priyanka seems to have taken the Barfi away this year. “Bas kar” (enough) says Uncle Oscar to Madhur Bhandarkar who like the scolded child abruptly ends the movie with no head, no tails, ask if it were there at all.

Heroine could have been better movie. Its neither resurrecting as Fashion, nor hard hitting as “The Dirty picture” nor as path breaking as Bhandarkar’s earlier ventures like Page 3 or Chandni bar. With a weak screenplay and even weaker storyline it’s a contrast to all that hype it created, all controversies it generated, all brawls it entered and may further embroiled into. Music is so so. There is nothing new or promising in this movie except the beautiful Kareena Kapoor and her strong performance. Its she who makes the blow hot, blow cold Mahi, neither conventional nor a wild child Mahi, a "what could be an author backed role but stands as wasted sketch" Mahie works and looks good. 

You know the last person who is having laugh- Shhhsh…Aishwarya Rai.

Mr. Bhandar-kar, its high time you spic brush your creativity bhandar-ghar (store) and give us something better. Dil toh bachcha hai ji phir bhi Heroine ki satta nahi tiki. Chandni baar aur Jail ka fashion ab purana ho gaya hai. Page 3 pe aane ke liye thodi aur pyaas badhao.

The autor is half Human, half machine. Go Figure or just revel in what I write

30 comments:

  1. Thanks for the nice review. You gave 3 out of 5? You are too generous. Wish you were my English professor when I was studying.

    ReplyDelete
  2. One review I read was, Congratulations Mr Bhandarkar, you made 3 different movies out of the same story ! :P :P Page 3, Heroine, Fashino ! :P

    Lol... Infact I couldnt even muster enough courage to go see the movie... ! :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go if you are Kareena' fan! I saw it at home.

      Delete
  3. Nice review..pity the people i saw yesterday in long queues in front of a theater waiting anxiously to watch the movie..:P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ranita.

      The movie might hit a chord with masses or at small towns. However, the intelligent viewers would not go so gaga gaga over this movie.

      Its so much hype which almost died at its promos itself.

      Delete
  4. Wonderful review!! Sad, that the movie didn't live upto all the hype that was created! :|

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Shilpa!

      Yup...too much hype, controversies etc..movie is nothing but a stale roll of director' past stints. Medley of sorts, non enticing medley!

      Delete
  5. Baahh...always knew this was going to be a dud ! and when the trailers came, I confirmed it was a mix of Fashion, Page 3 and Dirty Picture ! and it beats me why he is behind the dark side of any profession; he couldve made a movie on the bright side of the film industry, na? that wouldve been different :P :P

    and, how convenient and lame are his movie titles !!! I am sure, one day when he decides to make a movie on home makers, he would name it 'Kitchen' !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agrees and accords the same. Besides, he chose a wrong time. If he had made this movie couple of years back, it may have made some sense, for novelty of concept is far gone(last seen with TDP).

      And that kitchen thing is ROFL. who knows if he explores dark side of a life of a housewife? :)

      Delete
  6. A disappointing movie on every front though Karenna tried her best to salvage!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree! Waste of money and time....and they put kareena in such a bad frame!

      But thoughts aside, shud have sent this movie to Oscar...hheee

      Delete
  7. @numerounity : LOL LOL! It cant get better than this . I mean the review not the movie :)
    I read many reviews but yours is the best
    Here goes mine (almost on the same lines)http://afshan-shaik.blogspot.in/2012/09/heroine-is-like-heavy-dose-of-heroin.html

    but U did absolute justice to the movie by this review
    !CLAPS CLAPS!!
    now U can wave like a deepika aka kareena aka mugdha etc ;)

    U gave 3- thats too much yar. I gave half of 3;)
    anyway loved ur blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Afsaan...

      So much thanks for your kind sweet and "day making" comments. I gace all the points only for kareena..hee he :)

      Read ur blog too and loved it! Keep visiting and writing :)

      Delete
    2. Afshan,

      That is why I wrote Ekta should have been my English professor. She is very lenient.

      Delete
  8. Nice title picture on your blog. Very dramatic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks...thoda drama zaroori hai :)

      Films superhit hoti hai!!

      Delete
  9. I agree....agree, Numero!
    Madhurkar ka Bhandarghar khokhla hota chala ja raha hai jee---LOL He must do something about it. It was BORING..DRAGGING...PATHETIC!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its like 3 times award winning film maker was talking to a dodo while making this movie!!!

      Dodo flied, bhandar-kar survived...sigh!

      Delete
  10. Interesting…
    Rosesandgifts.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sharp review. Literally tore the movie to shreds. But then, When the movie isn't much, whats more to say about it.

    hmhm... Honestly, the one thing -- that I really love & appreciate is originality and if the movie is as bad and cliche ridden as you have posted, I am going to give it a miss.

    And thank you for that. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this movie is utter waste of money- both producer's and viewers (and others too).

      Aishwarya Rai must be thanking her pregnancy which saved her from being caste on a dud like this...Remix would be enough for her to sob seeing her/ movie performance.

      Movie is filled with cliche. Sab kuch with one actresses that too in an age like this where actresses r quite smart of the lot.

      I didn't do shredding as an objective, I just expressed my views :)

      Delete
  12. This movie seems to be the hybrid of Madhurs former work Page 3 and fashion nothing new. Madhur dont try to dwindle your carrer likeRGV

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey you were a bit liberal and gave it 3/5 ;) I gave it only 2/5 http://insidethecelluloid.blogspot.in/2012/09/movie-review-heroine-hindi-get-set-for.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :)

      Yeah maybe 2/5 is also high...it deserved 1/5...lolz

      Delete

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