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The great Indian Idle Challenge: Do you have it in you?
I am politically challenged and that’s no revelation. But why am I one, is an anonymity which doesn’t bother elaboration.
The grand invasion of reality shows, opened many vistas to wannabe’s, in India & abroad. Wannabe singers, dancers, hooligan bikers, daredevils, millionaires, size zeroes [brain or waist? Oops], actors, jokers and god knows what, ruling the TRP roost on otherwise “sauce-boo hoo” dominated idiot box. You see the more mediocre it gets, more popular it becomes [2nd Law of airtime; let the 1st law be].
The competition, at least, is getting real and the market saturating. So time for plan B. New joinees, you said?
Hmmm …from Rakhi Sawant’s choli [dress] to antakshri’ holi[festival of colors] to raju shrivastava’ thitholi[stand up comedies] to Sa re ga ma’ Mouli to MTV Roadies Toli[gang] to err Kunal Kohli. We seem to have ignored our great Indian Politician, who’s been quite a butt and smut and inspiration behind the stupendous success of all reality TV, needs to claim up its extended territory. Imagine the kind of thrill their real life nautanki will bring to reel life! And TRP ratings too!!!
Quite a prospect and am sure our audience will welcome it with open SMSes. Remember a certain face pack called Rahul Mahajan at big boss? A la “Big gross” oops or “Kaun banega Neta” or “Neta baliye” or “Neta Circus”. Whoa, what an idea Sirji!!!
Cool. What next? Screening! Some selected correspondents [pref journalists] will travel all geographies esp the mafia infested ones & short list candidates for “parliament round” where all the wannabe’s will compete in a violence round [Survival of the fittest u see]. Survivors will be taken to the next level and so on exhibiting their sordid political aspirations through mock rounds on booth capturing, scamming-scheming, MLA kidnapping, under the table etiquettes [bribe taking], murders et cetera till we get our perfect “Indian Politician” fresh out of the kill oops kiln.
The recipe is ready, now churning the essential ingredients for all you aspired ones. Let’s run through a quick guideline for some prime eligibility criteria.
To become a politician in India, you must meet the following criterion –
1. You are a criminal or have an insalubrious background
2. You have no education or experience to qualify for the job
3. You like to ride high on other people’ expenses
4. You have never been to prison despite criminal activities
5. Or you have been here and done that… it’s your second home
6. You are well connected (sordid Builders/Industrialist/ Mafias et al)
7. You are a staunch believer of appeasement in the name of secularism
8. You were terrorist/dacoit once, now change of heart or business model
3. You like to ride high on other people’ expenses
4. You have never been to prison despite criminal activities
5. Or you have been here and done that… it’s your second home
6. You are well connected (sordid Builders/Industrialist/ Mafias et al)
7. You are a staunch believer of appeasement in the name of secularism
8. You were terrorist/dacoit once, now change of heart or business model
9. You have high resentment towards ethics, discipline, honesty and hard work.
10. You are a rat of the highest order [future public servant who fear to travel alone in public but escorted by a mobile citadel with caravan of state paid body guards]
Phew! Looks like a sort of “10 commandments for being an Indian Politician”.
So, time to get in to the action and start rolling- Lights, sounds, Camera and Action.
Rolling in the credits
10. You are a rat of the highest order [future public servant who fear to travel alone in public but escorted by a mobile citadel with caravan of state paid body guards]
Phew! Looks like a sort of “10 commandments for being an Indian Politician”.
So, time to get in to the action and start rolling- Lights, sounds, Camera and Action.
Rolling in the credits
Sponsors: Lok sabha & Rajya sabha
Judges: 1. Lalu Prasad Yadav 2. Amar Singh 3. Mamta ben Bannerjee 4. Behen Mayawati 5. Raj thackerey 6. Uma Bharti [just in case if the wannabe’s fizzle; judges will sizzle]
Prize: The winner will be appointed as Deputy Additional PM [perks included]
Associated producers: Any enterprising production houses [read deep pocketed]
Channel: Chameleon TV
Judges: 1. Lalu Prasad Yadav 2. Amar Singh 3. Mamta ben Bannerjee 4. Behen Mayawati 5. Raj thackerey 6. Uma Bharti [just in case if the wannabe’s fizzle; judges will sizzle]
Prize: The winner will be appointed as Deputy Additional PM [perks included]
Associated producers: Any enterprising production houses [read deep pocketed]
Channel: Chameleon TV
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ReplyDeleteits not d first time hv come across a blog as urs...But wat according to u politics is...???lemme define-politics is wat we, common citizenz practice each day more often den not without knowing it-to work out,willy-nilly,a mutually acceptable physical,social,economic space for each of us to occupy.Politics is wat we do practically all the time,except may be wen we r voting(which i guess not ur taste).
ReplyDeleteIn recent times d gross ineptitude and insensitivity displayed by political specimens unleashed a storm of public anger.Wat does diz imply for the political health of our democracy...????
Politics is too important to be left to politicians(Actors capable enough to make Academy entry).We U individually and as a community can make a difference thru our engagement with it.....Better we cure den to Avoid.....